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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Buster13, my Mom was the same way back when my Dad had a heart attack. Both were in their late 80's and Mom said it was her job to take care of Dad.
Until Mom realized that when Dad would fall [he hadn't got back his strength in his legs yet] that she couldn't pick him up. And she also finally realized she couldn't help Dad go upstairs to their bedroom, so both of them slept in the living room for a couple of months.
Sometimes we need to wait for a serious medical issue before our parent(s) will take any help, and sometimes we need to wait for the 2nd and 3rd time before reality sets in.
Are they both competent in decision making? If so there is very little you can do against they own wishes. Of course this is going where it is going, and that is nowhere good. It will eventually come to a head with an injury to one or both. Do you meanwhile have any paperwork going such as POA for that time when you must step in?
The starting point is answering the question: who is legally able to act in their best interests? Are you or a family member PoA for either of your parents? If no one is their PoA and they are no longer willing or mentally competent to create these documents, then you will need to pursue guardianship for your dad through the courts.
I have 2 very elderly aunties that live together. Aunt N developed dementia and Aunt A is still sharp as a tack. Aunt A is the caregiver and was very resistant to outside help but really, really needed it. I gave up being insistent, and instead, just asked her, "If you could resign from one onerous task, which would it be?" So it became her choice of what help was provided, and I allowed her to tell me when she was ready for it. I had researched a great agency and told her the cost. Then one day she called me up and said she was ready to start receiving outside help.
Your best strategy may be to help your mom in ways that she is not aware...arranging (and paying) for a neighbor kid to mow their lawn; giving your parents a GC for a housecleaning service (maybe just the bathrooms) and then helping your mom schedule it; having family and friends take them out for the day and you go in to get an idea of how bad things are and then having a gently conversation with your mom, giving her assurances that no one is trying to "take control", just trying to help keep them safe in their home. It's possible your mom may be sliding into cognitive decline herself. You can only do so much. Getting the legal authority figured out is the starting point.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Until Mom realized that when Dad would fall [he hadn't got back his strength in his legs yet] that she couldn't pick him up. And she also finally realized she couldn't help Dad go upstairs to their bedroom, so both of them slept in the living room for a couple of months.
Sometimes we need to wait for a serious medical issue before our parent(s) will take any help, and sometimes we need to wait for the 2nd and 3rd time before reality sets in.
I have 2 very elderly aunties that live together. Aunt N developed dementia and Aunt A is still sharp as a tack. Aunt A is the caregiver and was very resistant to outside help but really, really needed it. I gave up being insistent, and instead, just asked her, "If you could resign from one onerous task, which would it be?" So it became her choice of what help was provided, and I allowed her to tell me when she was ready for it. I had researched a great agency and told her the cost. Then one day she called me up and said she was ready to start receiving outside help.
Your best strategy may be to help your mom in ways that she is not aware...arranging (and paying) for a neighbor kid to mow their lawn; giving your parents a GC for a housecleaning service (maybe just the bathrooms) and then helping your mom schedule it; having family and friends take them out for the day and you go in to get an idea of how bad things are and then having a gently conversation with your mom, giving her assurances that no one is trying to "take control", just trying to help keep them safe in their home. It's possible your mom may be sliding into cognitive decline herself. You can only do so much. Getting the legal authority figured out is the starting point.