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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mother just had a pacemaker put in and has COPD. Dad only has Medicare a and plus he has VA benefits but limited. Can’t get ahold of anyone at the VA to find out what we can get.
Your dad should be eligible for home health aide care from the VA if he meets their qualifications, but the question is, will that be enough? Your mom can also hire aides from a local agency as well, but that can be quite expensive. It may just be time to have dad placed in a nursing facility, where he will receive the 24/7 care he needs, and your mom can just take care of herself. And of course if money is an issue they can apply for Medicaid as well.(that would be for the nursing facility only, as Medicare covers hospice 100%) Best wishes in getting things figured out.
They do not qualify for Medicaid. I was able to get 5 day respite with Medicare but next week I’m stuck again. VA is trying to get him to inpatient if they can. Hope to get it done by Monday when he has to return home. All they would offer in-house was 2 hours a day for weekdays and Medicare offers just cleaning three days a week. My father is at the point where he needs changing almost hourly. It’s crazy.. praying they get this worked out for Monday. In the meantime I feel like the worst daughter ever sending my dad away when he is dying.
Sorry that you are going through such a very difficult time. Ask hospice for how to handle this? Can you take any FMLA time to help? Not saying you should but just if you wanted to? Do your parents have any money to hire aides? Are they active in a church or other org that might have volunteers?
Not to be rude, so please excuse the question, but do they have any idea of how long your dad might have?
I hope your mom is feeling a bit better with her pacemaker.
Your not being rude. My dad has many blood clots in his lungs and some in his legs. They can’t treat because he bleeds out if they do. They say he is minutes but minute due to the blood clots. They have some savings but if I wipe it out to care for him then my mom will have none when he goes. Dad is going to respite and next week sometime he will most likely be going to an inpatient hospice in the VA. I feel guilty sending him but can’t provide 24/7 care for him and work. I also start my masters in two weeks. I feel selfish but I keep reminding myself I didn’t do this and I’m doing all I can. If my mom gets better we can both provide care and bring him home. God willing he lives long enough.
You are not being selfish to want Dad to have access to 24/7 professional care in a facility designed to meet his needs.
When my step dad was dying there was talk about him being sent home on palliative care. Home to my at the time 84 year old mother in a house with stairs and no main floor bedrooms. It was 2 years later that our local hospice facility opened up. Luckily the doctor kept putting off discharging him.
Step Dad died in the hospital with Mum and me at his side. There was a nurse available to use 24/7. He had pain relief via and IV, and it was a calm peaceful death. His cancer had metastasized and once it was in his bones the pain was intense. Mum was reassured that help was a buzzer away. She also was very relieved that she did not have his dead body in her house. That would have been very difficult for her to handle.
Often grief feels like guilt. It is ok to feel grief.
"I keep reminding myself I didn’t do this and I’m doing all I can".
Exactly. No need for guilt here. You have faced the situation with calmness & clarity. Have found a path, from the realistic choices. It appears a good solid path.
It is only natural to feel emotional at this time. It's ok to use it's name - grief.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your mom can also hire aides from a local agency as well, but that can be quite expensive.
It may just be time to have dad placed in a nursing facility, where he will receive the 24/7 care he needs, and your mom can just take care of herself.
And of course if money is an issue they can apply for Medicaid as well.(that would be for the nursing facility only, as Medicare covers hospice 100%)
Best wishes in getting things figured out.
Ask hospice if there is a way of getting an aide for more hours.
You can take family leave in increments, I think.
Not to be rude, so please excuse the question, but do they have any idea of how long your dad might have?
I hope your mom is feeling a bit better with her pacemaker.
Good luck trying to figure this all out.
I feel guilty sending him but can’t provide 24/7 care for him and work. I also start my masters in two weeks. I feel selfish but I keep reminding myself I didn’t do this and I’m doing all I can. If my mom gets better we can both provide care and bring him home. God willing he lives long enough.
You are not being selfish to want Dad to have access to 24/7 professional care in a facility designed to meet his needs.
When my step dad was dying there was talk about him being sent home on palliative care. Home to my at the time 84 year old mother in a house with stairs and no main floor bedrooms. It was 2 years later that our local hospice facility opened up. Luckily the doctor kept putting off discharging him.
Step Dad died in the hospital with Mum and me at his side. There was a nurse available to use 24/7. He had pain relief via and IV, and it was a calm peaceful death. His cancer had metastasized and once it was in his bones the pain was intense. Mum was reassured that help was a buzzer away. She also was very relieved that she did not have his dead body in her house. That would have been very difficult for her to handle.
Often grief feels like guilt. It is ok to feel grief.
"I keep reminding myself I didn’t do this and I’m doing all I can".
Exactly. No need for guilt here. You have faced the situation with calmness & clarity. Have found a path, from the realistic choices. It appears a good solid path.
It is only natural to feel emotional at this time. It's ok to use it's name - grief.