The most common thing he repeats is being able to use the telephone, which requires me to dial because hes either no longer able to read or no longer has the ability to press the numbers due to a stroke and loss of oxygen to ths brain. Even if i do dial the number as soon as he hangs uo with whoever he was speaking to he goes back to insisting to call them back. If I don't give in at some point he has called 911, and I had to unplug the telephone. He is able to walk around kn his own most days with a walker and after i unplug the phone he gets up and falls on purpose while I am cooking or cleaning and if that doesn't get him what he desires he then refuses to eat. I thought the television might help but he will not keep it on or watch it, i am at the end of ny rapidly fraying rope, any suggestions would be so greatly appreciated :)
You are doing well to vent your frustrations here. Keep on trying.
As for the stories, personally I cannot endure them over and over and don't have an answer. My husband, also with special needs, can be tactless, and tells me:
"And I need to know this because?" But that can really hurt, even though now I understand this may be the only way he has to shut me up. If I cannot listen to other's stories, they should not have to listen to mine. I am glad you are close and so kind to your mom. Can you interupt her with a hug, and say "Can we talk later mom?", then go do your work.
When you have a few moments, you could suggest trying the landline phone. Suddenly the system is activated again. When you're ready to go back to work or other chores, you could say you need to use the landline phone and return the play phone to him.
I'm also wondering if there are phone numbers that just provide an inspirational or soothing message but aren't really answered (or the queue is too lengthy or complex to navitage) that he could call just to listen to.
If you have an extra cell phone, perhaps there's some way you could program in some soothing music; tell him to call that number - it will reach all of his friends, but instead he'll get calming music.
I've never been through this and have no personal experience, but I think the idea of pre-notification is excellent. Is this one of the typical behaviors of a form of dementia?
One thing that I resorted to, before my loved one was placed in Memory Care, is that I would take the phone away and hide it. If she asked to call someone, I would say they were not at home. I'd say they had a doctor appt and wouldn't be home for the rest of the day. I'd just keep saying that. Sometimes, I'd say the phone was out of order. I wouldn't let her have free reign with the phone.