She said as soon as she was appointed Guardian, my aunt decided, even though we were told she had mild dementia, that she wanted to die and planned to starve herslef. My cousin thinks this is fine and plans to let her go along with it. She does not want to involve Hospice and just says "let God's will be done, if she doesn't eat, I can't force her." Is this abuse. Doesn't my cousin have the legal obligation to at least notify the Court this is going on? Help!
As for the situation someone mentioned about a guardian and their children coercing the patient to change their will and leave everything to them, this is another form of abuse. I don't know how the person found this out, but if the patient had dementia or Alzheimer's, they can call their state bar association and ask for a lawyer who specializes in estates and related areas. You never know when you may get what's rightfully yours if the patient was not competent to make such decisions, giving someone else something they're not entitled to. That particular poster also describes what I believe to be the guardians way of allowing the person to starve to death and quicken their death so they can get everything. This makes me wonder if someone may have actually done this to my bio dad in his last few weeks of life, I can't help but suspect it and wonder
You, ---you know how to love , you have empathy, you have a caring heart. You can rest easy in that and enjoy the person who looks back at you in the mirror.
I could probably get bloodwork done to find out if I have the gene that leads to Alz, and then get into a clinical trial, but I prefer not to know. As of now, I eat healthy, exercise, and take natural preventatives (tumeric and B12). But if I develop a fatal illness that negatively impacts my quality of life with no hope for recovery, I hope to choose my own fate and go in peace.
sstevens in his/her initial post did not give us details about the aunt's condition. Only that she had mild dementia. But, my impression is that the aunt was not at death's door due to illness, injury or aging. (If she had signed a directive or living will, it would not have kicked-in denouncing treatment) So we are left with "the guardian" claiming the aunt wanted to die. Do we take her word for it when there were no witnesses or anything in writing? If the aunt was so convinced she wanted to die and named a guardian to make sure she was allowed to die...she wasn't willing, or wasn't asked, to sign a paper clarifying/proving her decision? Was the aunt aware of what was going on (lucid) at the time she told the guardian she wanted to die, if indeed she did? Could medications she was on have distorted reality, her thinking? Did the aunt ask questions and get answers about her future or possible treatment Did the guardian? What was the aunt's quality of life at the time? What was it expected to be in a year? Two or three years? Did anyone ask? Could the aunt have been depressed (very common in seniors)and that was influencing her reported desire to die? How did it come about that this cousin was named guardian? Could the aunt have been forced to make that decision? There are many more questions I could pose and I'm sure sstevens has asked herself. But, because of how things were handled...lack of clarity...questions and suspicions have raised their ugly heads.
If there is no conclusive directive about treatment or dying then that leaves it up to family members to make decisions. I just hope they ask questions, get answers, evaluate the overall picture for that specific person while weighing what decision to make. As each situation can be different. In making decisions on whether or not another human being lives or dies, you owe it do them to evaluate their "now & future" circumstances and not just follow through on pre-determined, perhaps long held, opinions on a procedure, treatment or response.
If your loved one has this disease, the odds are in your favor that you will contract the disease yourself. The funny thing about the brain, it does it know it has that disease nor does it care. It may be naive of me, but I would still hope, that we go the route of prevention.
I know that there are people who feel that there comes a time to "let them go". Where and why that line is drawn can be based on a variety of reasons. And, as I noted before, can become highly controversial. I think the issue needs to be explored internally for each individual and as a culture. Stories like sstevens' and the one in the news now about the nurse at the assisted living facility who would not administer CPR for the resident who eventually died...if anything, has brought some people to ask themselves questions about their beliefs. At least, I hope so. It can be a tough balancing act to do what's best for the patient and follow personal views/beliefs, that could be varied, within the family. Someone will always lose...and unfortunately I think too often, it's the patient or senior citizen.
I guess what I am afraid of is that laws will be put in place to baby boomicide our generation as the largest group to put a financial drain on the community or public systems such as medicare or medic aide, and the cost would weigh more than a persons right to live.
The songs like 2525, that talked about the future, the weird movies:Solient Green and Deathrace 2000, come to mind, as fictitious as they were then, about how they would dispose of people for over-population control.
I just wouldn't want some law saying that a senior/disabled person's life isn't a 100% so lets not provide lifesaving measures...what difference will it make if we cause or let them die? Insurance companies can call it...WE DON'T COVER it.
As I said before people, that want to starve of their own free will, is one thing, the slippery slope it creates is another...
PS. I am disabled from three strokes, I am never going to be the same person, I was, and as we age are we ever the same person we used to be?
if she had starved herself with food in front of her,
maybe, but it seems there might not be any documentation.
Even the guardian could have recorded her request, from her phone
we do not live in the dark ages.
No one knows, really what the Aunt wanted.
It seems like what you are saying is, that it is a moral request,between two parties, but we do not know if it was even requested.
Only on this website have I heard such a clamour
of people thinking they have a right to die.
People do not have a right to die, unless they commit suicide.
from the 95 lbs. she was when in assisted living,while there they have a new product for dementia/alz patients, called Axona and it is considered medical food.
it sounds awful close to the shake I described earlier. Something about ketones and how the dementia alz mind processes/doesn't process sugars.
About our discussion here, has anyone seen or understand what happens to the body and mind as it is starving? People get hallucinations, and there does come a point when the body cannot eat even if it wants to, in the end the body organs shut down, if the person loses enough weight, they have a heart attack, it is neither pleasant nor painless.
In Illinois a man died after winning the lottery, someone said the death was suspicious and they exhumed the body, maybe this is what it takes for your case to open, with your Aunt.
Also, how many children did your Aunt have? If it was more than the one did they also benefit? They did not object or is it there is only one and there was no one else?
Was the body cremated to destroy the evidence? I would think seriously, that this is something to ask your local states attorneys' office.
When I first heard your story, it was quite late, but it has bothered me tremendously,ever since. A guardian is suppose to protect the person when they no longer can, what is the difference between a family member starving a person to death or a stranger killing them some other way? Isn't it still murder?
Sure it is a chore to take care of someone, but that doesn't give us the right,
to end their life for them, what is this world coming to?
Kevorkian did time, remember, does anyone remember?
We could all be trapped in our own bodies, does not mean we are going to starve ourselves, are we? It sounds like a kid saying I am going to hold my breath unless you give it to me? If we wanted to, we could all find a reason to starve ourselves, it doesn't make it right. Get a grip everyone, DNR's are if you were in a car accident and you are in a coma or brain dead, part of you is dead already, but take a living person starving over as three month period is murder, in my book.
I am just wondering, if you had reported them to senior abuse? Again wondering what the autopsy showed, death certificate, etc. I wonder what the states attorneys' office would think, death and a motive...