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My mom has moderate Alzheimer’s disease and has expressed many times her desire to stay at home. Her power of attorney tricked her (by lying) and moved her into a memory care assisted living home. She is miserable, depressed, and cries all the time. I want to help her get out. What can I do, if anything at all?

Who is your mom's POA? And how did this person "trick" her into memory care? The assessment process and acceptance into memory care are pretty stringent and require a doctor's 602 report (at least here in CA it is needed). It is one of the hardest decisions, ever, for those of us who have had to place a loved one in memory care. And many of us have had to use fibs or trickery to get them moved in as smoothly as possible. No one in memory care wants to be there, and few actually would agree to be placed in advance. But are they better cared for in the memory care than at home? Is the person with Alzheimer's safe living at home? You said you want to help her get out. Did your mom specifically asked you for help? And if she is out, what will her care plan look like? Are you willing to care for her or provide 24/7 care?

I feel your angst, but sometimes we may project what we desire rather than looking at the whole picture and what's best for the person suffering from AD. Perhaps your issue is with the person with POA. If so, it'd be advisable to talk things out with this person and come up with a workable solution that's best for your mom and everyone involved. In the meantime, try to help your mom as others have already suggested. Wishing you the best.
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Reply to SOS369
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The POA is in control at this point. No person suffering from Denentia or ALZ should be home on their own. Both are unpredictable. Of course she is miserable because she is not in familiar surroundings. Like said, you need to encourage her to get involved with activities they have.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Nothing can, or should, be done. Mom is where she needs to be. A person with moderate Alz cannot live alone.

Kudos to the PoA for doing what needed to be done.
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Reply to ZippyZee
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Many seniors have a difficult adjustment.
You can help her by not giving her any hope that she can return to independent living. That's no longer possible for her. There is what we "want" and then there is what we realistically can expect. They are two different things.
Tell her you are sorry but now she needs more care, that the move was necessary for her health and safety, that you will visit and are there to listen.
She is heartbroken and in despair. This is where we come to and it's very difficult. You aren't responsible for aging, for dementia, for heartbreak, for happiness.
Simply be kind and listen and tell her you understand how difficult this loss must be for her, and that you care.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Sure you can "get her out"
Then what.
Are you prepared to give her the 24/7 care that she needs?
Are you prepared to give up your life and time with your friends and family to care for her?
And if your goal is to "keep m om at home" does that mean her home or yours? If her home are you prepared to move into her home? Are you prepared to move your family into her home?
If you are going to keep her in her home and you are not going to move in you will need caregivers 24/7.
If you move her into your home she will still want to "go home". (and if you read a current post...even if she is in her own home she may not recognize it as her home)

In order to move her you will have to prove in court that you can care for her better, or at least as well as the MC facility she is in.
You will have to prove that the POA for Health and the POA for Finances did not make the best decision for your mom.
You will also have to obtain Guardianship through the Court and you will have to comply with all the rules and regulations of Guardianship (not easy, nor inexpensive)

If you want to help mom...
Visit.
Reinforce that she is safe, that she is in her new home.
Bring her treats that you know she likes.
Take her for walks around her new home.
Before you leave get her involved with an activity and quietly slip out, don't make a big deal of you leaving.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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You have absolutely no recourse now, and since your mom is now where she needs to be, I would just try and make the most of it for not only your mom but for yourself as well.
You must remember that folks with broken brains will mirror the attitudes of those around them, so make sure that you're positive and upbeat when you go visit her and do things with her that she enjoys.
Dementia sucks, and all we can do for our loved ones with dementia is try and make their lives as good as possible no matter where they live.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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“ I want to help her get out “.

Then what ? Are you prepared to move in with Mom ? Mom needs care 24/7. She can not be alone . You would be giving up your life .

Read threads here in the burn out section . Mom needs a village . She will continue to decline , and the care gets too difficult for one person .

Most elderly say they want to stay in their own home . Your Mom does not understand that she isn’t safe home alone . The focus is now on what she needs , not what she wants .

Try this to help her adjust .
“ Mom , the doctor says this is where you need to be “.

Giving her false hope of leaving , will hinder her adjustment .

Since your Mom is in the correct level of care for her , I doubt you would win an expensive fight for guardianship .
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Reply to waytomisery
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"What can I do, if anything at all?"
There is much you can do.

Offer emotional support.
Visit or call. Hug or hold hands if that's your way. Let her express her emotions. If she sad, she is sad. It is OK to feel sad. It's normal. Accept that.

Bring little things of interest, cards, photos, flowers. Try to engage your Mom into the activities on offer in Memory Care. Support building connections to people in her new home.

"I want to help her get out".
Why?
How would that help her?

Change focus: To helping her ADJUST.

Alzheimer’s disease progressss from mild to moderate to advanced. People are not able to live independantly & required round the clock care.
Better to be realistic.

PS It is perfectly normal for you to feel sad too.
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Reply to Beatty
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