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My dad is 78, has slight dementia, was diagnosed with cancer, and now lives in a LTC facility. It’s been one hell of a year but he’s been a trooper and for the most part, has been pretty content. I usually visit dad every day (and stay anywhere from 2 hrs to 4 hrs). People have told me not to visit so often, but I feel like I have to - for dad. Usually our time together is positive and it makes both of us feel happy. Lately dad has been exhausted. The doctors thinks his sleeping at night is being interrupted (and she’s looking into whether or not there’s something else going on) but my question is DO I STAY OR DO I GO? For the past few visits, dad is falling asleep. He’s obviously tired and I think the sleeping is good, but this time of year is crazy and I could certainly use the extra time to get things done at home. My dad is not the type who would ever want me to stay if I’ve got other things to do but I don’t want him to think that I’m leaving BECAUSE he’s not talking. He can’t help that he’s tired because there really may be something else going on. How do I communicate in a positive way that if he needs to sleep - I leave? Sometimes I worry that something else IS going on and I don’t want him to feel deserted. Ugh

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If he's asleep, leave a friendly note and some cookies.  When he wakes up, he'll know you were there.
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When my mom was asleep, I’d leave. No announcement about it, just quietly left and let her have peace. Facilities have all kinds of interruptions and noise, on top of just not feeling well, so getting in extra sleep is quite understandable. No reason to watch someone sleep. Cwillie offers a good idea about visiting at meal times
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When my mom reached the point where she was ALWAYS asleep I would just hold her hand for the time it took to drink my take out coffee before leaving. You don't need to make leaving a big production, just a kiss on the cheek and a cheery "see you tomorrow", then go.
You might consider visiting your father at meal times when he is bound to be awake for an extended period of time.
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