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You separate the demented adult from the innocent and impressionable children, immediately and permanently.

There is no excuse for willingly exposing children to abuse.
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Reply to ZippyZee
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You make the tough decision that your family / immediate family is your priority.
If caring for a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle is adversely effecting you or anyone in your household you place the person you are caring for in a facility that will meet their care needs.
Caring for __________ does not mean that YOU personally have to physically care for them.
Caring for them means that you see that they get the care they need based on their current needs.
Caring for them means that you make sure that they get to doctor appointments,
Caring for them means that you see that they have the proper clothing.
Caring for them does not mean you have to
Get sworn at, spit on, hit, kicked, it does not mean that you have to change soiled briefs, change bedding, do laundry.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Zippy said it all. Your children must be your first priority, not a verbally abusive adult with dementia. That person needs to be placed in managed care and away from your innocent children who deserve a worry free childhood.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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If it seems like there's no other care option for this adult (like, they are a close relative with few financial resources and no PoA) then you call 911 next time they are abusive and tell them they might have a UTI. They will hopefully take them to the ER, where you go or call and tell them adamantly that this adult is an unsafe discharge and you have very young children at home and don't feel safe with this person in your home, plus you are not their caregiver. Then ask to talk to a social worker at the hospital and explain that this person cannot be discharged back to their residence (assuming it's yours? Or theirs?) Hopefully they will put the wheels in motion to transition this person into a facility where they will get all appropriate care and you will protect your family and get your life back. Do not accept any promises that if you take them back that they will "help" you find care -- they just want this person out. It's not true they can't and won't help you.

Especially if you're not this person's active PoA or legal guardian, this adult should not be in your home and you should not be their caregiver with young children as this is not a sustainable arrangement -- the adult's dementia will only get worse with time.
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Reply to Geaton777
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You limit the children's exposure to this person and when they start being verbally abusive, you remove the children IMMEDIATELY. Or better yet, keep them away completely.
And God forbid that this person is living in your home with your children, you must immediately start looking into having them removed and placed in the appropriate facility. And until you do, you can have your children stay with a trusted family member of friend, so they don't have to experience this unnecessary trauma.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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This seems like your first post. Could you please fill out your profile.

Who is this person with Dementia to you? Do they live with you, on their own, you live with them?

Young children should not be exposed to someone with Dementia who is like this. They do not understand that its the desease and not the person. If this person lives with you, maybe time to place them. No money then they go on Medicaid for Long-term care.

Ask her doctor if there are any meds this person can take. Your children should be #1.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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In my opinion it is difficult for an adult to deal with the nonsensical, illogical, hateful delusional and sometimes abusive actions of someone with dementia...let alone a child. I don't think this is a healthy environment for young children to be around. A very young impressionable child is learning how to behave and react. They don't need to be around that... Find other care for the person with dementia. Put the needs of the children first.
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Reply to Jamesj
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Kairos: An individual who suffers from dementia does not possess the capacity for logical thought processes. They may have to enter a managed care facility.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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It would be better to know

Does the person with dementia live with you?

How old are the children?

I'd like to know a lot more before I answer.

Maybe an example of the abuse.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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two thing helped me immediately, music, my husband likes big band and in the middle of a tirade, i turned on glen miller and he switched to different person. Also dr put him on 10mg of Donapezel. He has been a ver nice person to deal with. I could not live with the way he was.
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Reply to jannaujokas
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