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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I just transitioned my mom to memory care. Obviously very stressful. She is too unstable to be in an ALF but seems to be more stable than most of the people in the memory care. That is causing her distress.
The Memory Care staff should be able to set mom up with the higher functioning residents so they can get to know one another...thats what the activities director did for my mom who was in the same position as yours. It wound up working out pretty well, but even as my mother's dementia became very advanced, she STILL refused to acknowledge there was anything wrong with her. She still looked down on the other residents bc that was her nature. She enjoyed feeling superior to others, which may have been an advantage for her in MC, I don't know.
Give your mom a chance to adjust to life in MC. It's not perfect, but if she's no longer ALF material, your choices are limited. Dementia makes everything more difficult for everyone, including YOU, so be kind to yourself.
Those are good ideas. I am not sure what my facility can accommodate but I will ask. Thank you for the guidance. This has been such a difficult decision. The fact that she is a little more aware than others made me doubt my decision but I know it is the right thing for her and for me. Thank you and stay blessed.
Any change, even what seems like small insignificant details, can disorient someone with dementia.
My aunt was still beautiful, immaculately groomed, focused on her fashion choices, capable of interactive conversation with a family member or fellow resident.
The request for the transfer from AL to MC for HER had come from the staff. but even THEY realized that she was actually between AL and MC, and they allowed her to sit by herself (when she wished) in the MC dining room, stay in her room if nothing in the activity area amused her, little gestures that ultimately allowed her to relax and enjoy her surroundings (until the virus).
She came to refer to herself as being in “the hotel”, then “MY hotel”, and would sometimes comment quietly to me about a few of “the doozies” that were living in the hotel with her, then horrifyingly, no contact with me, the person who she still knew as her contact to her earlier life.
By the time I got to hug her again and tell her that I loved her dearly, she could STILL respond “You’d BETTER” and remember my name, but she was reduced to life in a wheelchair.
Now we wait in the twilight, as she lingers from day to day, waiting for Heaven but not quite yet ready to go.
I miss her, but all things considered, I understand why MC gave her the best of what we could have arranged for her.
There was a woman in my mom's MC who was clearly way ahead of most everyone else cognitively, and as she was a retired nurse, she knew exactly what kind of facility she was in and was distraught that her children had put her there.
I really felt for her, but within a week or so, she was in cahoots with one of the higher functioning cliques and happy as a clam.
After they reopened from Covid, she was barely recognizable. That wasn't entirely because of the lockdown, but because she'd declined so quickly.
I have a feeling your mom will find her group (ask the staff to assist with that), but she will likely decline pretty steadily and you'll realize the MC is the right place for her.
After much review, we have decided that mom will be better off in the Assisted Living Side. We are moving her again on Monday to a new room where she will have more engagement. Thank you all for the comments. Very helpful.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Give your mom a chance to adjust to life in MC. It's not perfect, but if she's no longer ALF material, your choices are limited. Dementia makes everything more difficult for everyone, including YOU, so be kind to yourself.
My aunt was still beautiful, immaculately groomed, focused on her fashion choices, capable of interactive conversation with a family member or fellow resident.
The request for the transfer from AL to MC for HER had come from the staff. but even THEY realized that she was actually between AL and MC, and they allowed her to sit by herself (when she wished) in the MC dining room, stay in her room if nothing in the activity area amused her, little gestures that ultimately allowed her to relax and enjoy her surroundings (until the virus).
She came to refer to herself as being in “the hotel”, then “MY hotel”, and would sometimes comment quietly to me about a few of “the doozies” that were living in the hotel with her, then horrifyingly, no contact with me, the person who she still knew as her contact to her earlier life.
By the time I got to hug her again and tell her that I loved her dearly, she could STILL respond “You’d BETTER” and remember my name, but she was reduced to life in a wheelchair.
Now we wait in the twilight, as she lingers from day to day, waiting for Heaven but not quite yet ready to go.
I miss her, but all things considered, I understand why MC gave her the best of what we could have arranged for her.
I really felt for her, but within a week or so, she was in cahoots with one of the higher functioning cliques and happy as a clam.
After they reopened from Covid, she was barely recognizable. That wasn't entirely because of the lockdown, but because she'd declined so quickly.
I have a feeling your mom will find her group (ask the staff to assist with that), but she will likely decline pretty steadily and you'll realize the MC is the right place for her.