She yells and screams all night, I barely get any sleep. Now she is crying all day and all night. I know she doesn't like to be alone in her room at night. I sit with her every night in hopes that she'll fall asleep and if she does she'll sleep for 3 hours max. Now she's picked up this new habit of crying. By nature when she cry's I console her, then I noticed once she gets what she wants she'll stop and soon as you do something she doesn't like ex: go to the bathroom and leave her, she gets so mad she'll scream JESUSSSSSSSSSSSS HELP ME JESUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS to the TOP of her lungs. Her throat is becoming sore from the yelling and crying. I make sure she's comfortable at all time's and she's not in physical pain. Please help! Now she's up saying it's her birthday and we all hate her😣😣😣. Is this just the way things will be or is this just a phase?
I think the good news is that you are with grandma all the time and if she didn't react well to this med, you wouldn't give it to her again. You would be able to judge if it was giving her back the ability to get some sleep and be at peace within herself. How frightened she must be by her delusions and hallucinations to be calling for Jesus.
Chantelle, you are a good granddaughter and want the best for GMA. But you have a lot on your plate with 4 little kids and a divorce. I think perhaps you need to take a chance on some new medication, whether the one currently prescribed or something else from the pediatrician. Good luck!
Has anyone mentioned trying Seroquel? What kind of doctor is treating grandma? And what is the new medication? There maybe someone here who has experience with it.
No I didn't give her the drug because I don't want her heavily sedated just to keep her quiet. I first made sure she didn't have any other underlying issues, because anyone with any sense would think crying or screaming equals pain or discomfort whether it's physical or emotional. Maybe you miss read my post. I said she has picked up a new habit of crying about things for example (today is my birthday and everyone forgot) or my glasses are foggy. She is on medication for anxiety, the doctor recommended something else to help her sleep because she is up all night long calling my name or names of people who I don't even know, if Im using the bathroom and can't come immediately she yells help me I'm falling but as soon as long as I sit with her she's ok. I sit with her majority of the day but I have children I cannot sit with her 24/7. The Dr made it clear this new drug can be a hit or miss , but also told me that the side affects are that she will be extremely disoriented and agitated in the morning but at least you'll get sleep. He also stated that the drug is new and that she actually was the first patient he's ever tried it on. I believe in second opinions when your not sure. Why on God's green earth would you think I would sit back and let my grandmother suffer?! I have 4 kids which one by the way is 15 months so sleep is very important to me, so if I didn't care I'd give her anything and let her deal with the side affects. I wouldn't want someone to do me that way and I treat people the way I'd like to be treated. I'm sorry I'm not one to just treat my grandmother as a test dummy to satisfy my own needs. I want her to have something safe. And if the Dr isn't sure why the hell should I be? I asked for advice I didn't ask to be jumped on. I'd appreciate it if you don't respond to my post anymore because to tell someone who's reaching for help your frustrated with them is very rude. Good day!
Try to distract her. Try to re-tuck her back in. Often times I find she says help me just because she has to go to the bathroom and cannot express herself to say so. She panicks and starts yelling. Don't give up hope. If it is a phase, then it will pass. I have found keeping her active with pacing, folding blankets, looking at albums and keeping her mind as busy as possible during the day, will help her fall asleep naturally. I keep my grandma's naps down to a 20 minute nap in the morning mostly around her lunch time then keep her busy the rest of the morning. That helps her to be naturally tired and she is great about taking cues for bed. I sit and watch tv while relaxing at night until she falls asleep naturally, then I move into my room watching her via baby monitor. That way I can see and hear her as needed. If I hear the cycle start I'll watch. If I see her moving around then I know it's a bathroom break and walk that's needed. If she's doing it in her sleep then I let her cycle through it and usually within seconds it stops. It's not easy but it's how I handle it.
Some folks seem to think that if you just comfort a dementia patient enough, or give them some distraction, all will be well. For a while, my brother insisted that all of moms mental anguish was " what she was doing to herself" and that she was induging in a " pity party". My mother would dutifully recite these idiocies and then go back to wringing her hands and weeping. What we didnt get at that time was that moms brain was irretrievably broken and that no matter how much reassurance and comfort and logic we presented, some piece of wiring that had previously allowed her to be relatively calm and worry free had shorted out.
What finally worked was a combo of two antidepressants and a small dose of antianxiety meds. She was not doped up, but frankly, I wouldn't have cared if she was .
She was calm most of the time. As her dementia progressed, she had some delusions about having a communicable disease and about having not paid her taxes. Her meds were adjusted and she became calm again.
I hope you can find your loved one some good relief through medication.
Chantelle, can you care for your loved one under these conditions for another 4 or 5 years? If she's in great shape physically, she could live for a long time. Consider the meds, please.
Chantell, I took this to mean you aren't giving her the drug. If that is not a correct interpretation, don't read the rest of this message.
And you haven't let her try this new drug? Because you are afraid it MIGHT make her too sedated? What if you tried it and the side effects were too severe and so, with the doctor's advice you discontinue it, and Mom goes back to being miserable? Or you tried it and after a couple of weeks it worked and Mom was much more herself and comfortable?
This may sound harsh but I get frustrated with posts like this. Your loved one is miserable. You consult a doctor. Doctor suggests trying a new drug. You say No. You take her home where she gets even more miserable. What is wrong with this picture?
What were you hoping for from a doctor? A magic wand that comes with a guarantee? No effort to monitor it and make adjustments? That is not how medicine works and it sure as heck isn't the way it works with dementia! When people say, "Have Mom evaluated by a doctor," they don't say "and take any advice from the doctor very seriously" because that should be understood. No one should have to say it.
Barb, of course keeping your mom as pain-free as possible did not make you a bad person! Chantell, is that what you are worried about? That someone would perceive you as a bad person if you try a drug suggested by her doctor? Just focus on what is good for your mother. Don't worry about your reputation!
If I ever become constantly emotionally and psychically miserable and there is a chance a new drug would help, give me the drug! Monitor me, see if it is helping or adjustments are needed, but try anything that has a chance of helping! I would prefer being sedated and visiting in lala land than be in the present moment with severe pain.
Just my opinion, of course, but I sure hold it strongly!
What med is she on? When you say it's fairly new, do you mean she just started taking it? Did they tell you how long before they can evaluate if it's working?
I always told my mom's docs ( after she was diagnosed with dementia) that I didn't really care a about the sedating effects of drugs they gave her, as long as she wasn't in psychic or physical pain.
Maybe that makes me a bad person, but the only thing that I ever promised my mom was "no pain".
If there is no other explanation, I'd explore if this due to the dementia? I know of a lady who called out Help! I'm dying, a lot. The doctors could find no explanation ,but, said that her particular type of condition that caused her dementia was causing it. I don't know of they were able to treat he with medication to help or not, but, not sleeping is not good for her or you. I'd speak with the doctors pronto. There is no substitute for medical attention when someone is in pain, imo.
How do you know she's not in pain? It sure sounds to me like she's in pain.
At the very least, she needs to be checked for a UTI.