Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Hi and sorry if this is all over the place. Im not in the best head space. For the last few your i (33f) have been taking care of my dad (62). He is having memory issues and arthritis pain. He has been kicked out of many doctors for bad behavior ranging to spreading lies or screaming at staff. Yet he refuses to help himself by moving. He sits on his bed all day watching tick tocks sometimes not even eating. We usually end up in screaming match once a day. I also have MDD or bipolar 2 my doctor and i are trying to determine which one. Living with him has gotten to the point that daily life is one big panic attack. How much money did he spend, has he eaten, has he taken his meds, what am i going to be yelled at today ect. Its gotten to the point i dont want to wake up in the morning. Yet i know with how he acts and his memory issues no one i know will help him and im his only child. I cant get him in a care unit since physically he is fine, money issues, his age, and knowing he will put up a fight that im not prepared for yet. So what can i do? How can i get even a little bit of a break and still help him? I feel like a bad daughter asking but i cant take much more. I just want to have a day to relax from my two jobs and not have to worry or tense up about him. Has anyone gone through something like this that can offer advice other then advil pm that is lol? Once again im sorry for being all over the place. Thank you for you time.
Please consider contacting a resource focused on aging and caregiver support. The ADRC-Aging and Disability Resource Center could be a good starting point for you--they are located all across the United States https://www.usaging.org/adrcs Since you did not say where you live, you can also Google search ADRC and the state and county you live in to find the nearest location.
Please realize your obligation is to find your own path to wellness. Your father isn’t likely to change, and he’s not your responsibility, no matter if you’re an only child. You’re an adult, and need to build a healthy life. Make the changes you need to heal, refuse to stick around to be yelled at, no one deserves that, no matter the cause.
Are you currently being seen by a mental health therapist? I think this very complex and likely not new relational difficulty is beyond what advice a forum can provide to you. There will be many complexities we cannot be aware of. We don't know you, don't know if you are working and have friends and other family support. Nor do we know your father, nor anything of your past relationship long term. Even were we to have all the fact in this, we aren't trained in mental health issues.
For myself I can only wish you the best and ask that you reach out for some talk therapy and for some guidance options to step out of habitual ways of behaving, so that you can move on and make a quality life for yourself.
It is unlikely your father will change. It is unlikely you can help him, or he you. You may in fact both hinder one another in recovery and best options. But habits, even bad ones. represent the "known" and the "known" represents "safety". There are few things so hard as stepping out and exploring other paths to wellness. It takes tremendous courage. I wish you the best.
Move out and retake your life. His foolishness is not your problem. You do realize he could live for another 30+ years right? How do you think this will play out when you are in your 50s? 60s? Abandon ship now while there is still time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think this very complex and likely not new relational difficulty is beyond what advice a forum can provide to you. There will be many complexities we cannot be aware of. We don't know you, don't know if you are working and have friends and other family support. Nor do we know your father, nor anything of your past relationship long term. Even were we to have all the fact in this, we aren't trained in mental health issues.
For myself I can only wish you the best and ask that you reach out for some talk therapy and for some guidance options to step out of habitual ways of behaving, so that you can move on and make a quality life for yourself.
It is unlikely your father will change. It is unlikely you can help him, or he you. You may in fact both hinder one another in recovery and best options. But habits, even bad ones. represent the "known" and the "known" represents "safety". There are few things so hard as stepping out and exploring other paths to wellness. It takes tremendous courage. I wish you the best.