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Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Maybe I don't sound really sympathetic, unless this has been going on for years, I'd just be grateful she made it to 93 and still manages to live on her own! If it has been going on for too long for you to handle, the above are great suggestions.
Your mom still has all her faculties? She may actually benefit from having companionship of other people nearer her age - have you looked into "adult day care" or activities at the local "senior center"?
Is it your mom who feels that you are her only transportation source, or is it you? Is it possible to arrange for other services? RTA, Ride-Share, Dial-A-Ride, and even volunteers who worth through the senior center can often be a great help.
Getting shopping done without your mom present might be easier for you, but if this is her only outing, it may be important to her. Try breaking it down to smaller increments - what does she need to do? Pharmacy? Grocery Store? Pick one, and make a lunch date - don't overdo it. Think of it as a social activity, and not just an obligation.
Being in your mom's situation can be tough for her- she's most likely have outlived many family & friends and is no longer 100% independent, so it requires a lot of compassion and understanding from you. Caring for a loved one is a demanding job and caregivers suffer from burnout, depresssion, and exhaustion. What FyreFly listed above are wonderful ideas and activities for your mom to be involved with...she will be able to spend time with others her own age and can make new friends in the center. I would also do some research to see if there are local support groups or resource centers that may be able to provide some respite care at no cost to you/mom (not sure what your financial situation is), so you can be healthy, happy, and continue to care for your mom without burning out or getting frustrated. In California, they have the Caregivers Resource Centers, which relies on grants and donations, but is able to help out families with respite care or other services.
I agree with susan63, be grateful she has made it to 93 and cherish every minute you can spend with her. To be realistic, there are not many people with all their faculties intact at her age, and you have to pay for the senior center activities and senior day care. It isn't as easy as just taking her and dropping her off to "spend time with people her age." Your Mom may not WANT to get to know other people her own age, she is content obviously with her own family. And she probably wants to spend as much time with you as possible. With all the crime and heartless people out there these days, to expect your Mom to get somewhere on a bus is just ASKING for someone to knock her down and take her purse from her, probably causing physical injuries to her. To take Mom somewhere should not feel like an obligation, it should be a treat. Mom won't be here forever.
I can attest to the guilt I used to feel knowing that my mother-in-law was alone in that little dingy house day after day. She couldn't drive because of her eyes, and unless someone from the family visited her and took her out of the house, she'd sit there all day watching TV or walking around her driveway. I must admit it bothered us more than it did her. Although she used to complain when someone didn't call or come over EVERY day. She's now in asst living, best decision we ever made thus far.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If it has been going on for too long for you to handle, the above are great suggestions.
Is it your mom who feels that you are her only transportation source, or is it you? Is it possible to arrange for other services? RTA, Ride-Share, Dial-A-Ride, and even volunteers who worth through the senior center can often be a great help.
Getting shopping done without your mom present might be easier for you, but if this is her only outing, it may be important to her. Try breaking it down to smaller increments - what does she need to do? Pharmacy? Grocery Store? Pick one, and make a lunch date - don't overdo it. Think of it as a social activity, and not just an obligation.
Hope this helps!
~FyreFly
I would also do some research to see if there are local support groups or resource centers that may be able to provide some respite care at no cost to you/mom (not sure what your financial situation is), so you can be healthy, happy, and continue to care for your mom without burning out or getting frustrated. In California, they have the Caregivers Resource Centers, which relies on grants and donations, but is able to help out families with respite care or other services.
-Ann
With all the crime and heartless people out there these days, to expect your Mom to get somewhere on a bus is just ASKING for someone to knock her down and take her purse from her, probably causing physical injuries to her. To take Mom somewhere should not feel like an obligation, it should be a treat. Mom won't be here forever.