My Mom (90 years old) is in contract to sell her home and my brother is demanding a large amount of money to move out or else he said he won't move. I (having financial POA) can not go to closing on my Mom's house until the house is empty. Basically my brother is blackmailing my Mom. I talked to different attorneys and they said because he never paid rent he is not considered a tenant but a license and it could take up to one year to get him out. It would be less stressful for me to give him the money he is demanding so the house can be sold. Thoughts?
I wanted to know if this was a form of elder abuse blackmailing my Mom by demanding money from her or else he won't move out. He is causing her stress by doing what he is doing.
Thanks.
The old definition of blackmail used to be "demanding money with menaces." But the thing is, your brother isn't menacing your mother because it makes no observable difference to her when her house gets sold. He is, however, making life stressful and awkward and three times as difficult as it needs to be for you. He shouldn't, he is a pain. But if you avoid telling your mother about these difficulties I see no reason for her to get stressed about it, no reason why she should even be aware of the situation.
It could become a can of worms, as the Buyer probably has a contract pending on their own house, and that Buyer buying the other Buyer's house could have a contact pending on their house.... it the domino effect.
The only thing I worry about is if your Mom needs Medicaid down the road, that sum your gave your brother from the equity in the house could be viewed as a "gift" which would hurt financially your Mom's chances of getting Medicaid.
My Mom (who resides with me) in another state (I moved her from her house to get her away from my brother's abuse and neglect) wanted to buy a house for herself and me so I would have some security. My Mom also took out a reverse mortgage and when I go to closing which is in 2 weeks from now has to pay back $210,000. After the reverse mortgage is paid and my brother is paid we can't afford to buy a decent house. I'm renting so I am used to that and don't mind.
So would my Mom lose her Medicare benefits? I don't know what to do now.
Jenna
I'm assuming you're speaking to real estate attorneys. It would be wise to have a consult with an elder care attorney about how to do this without creating a problem later, should your mother need Medicaid.
It is if your Mom needs a higher level of care down the road and needs to go into long term care, Medicaid will help cover the cost if your Mom cannot afford it from her own funds. This is a State program that is funded by the taxpayers and Federal funds, one has to apply for this program. This is why I worry about the "gift" of equity from your Mom's house to your brother. That could keep her out of the program for awhile.
I can understand why your Mom is selling the house, as a Reverse Mortgage rules usually state if the owner is out of the house after one year, then the loan needs to be repaid. Otherwise the house will go into foreclosure. Sadly it sounds like your brother doesn't understand, or wants to understand the process :(
If I were you I'd go and see either a lawyer with financial planning expertise or a financial planning adviser with a very good reputation, and ask for help with planning for the three of you. Like after a divorce: you all need somewhere to live, you all need a reasonable amount of security and certainty, and there are only so many resources available: what's the best and fairest distribution?
The thing is, at 67 and with a disability, your brother isn't much less vulnerable or better able to provide for himself than your mother is. Not to say that he can have whatever he wants, obviously; but his needs are substantial. A negotiated settlement would seem to be the best outcome.
Just venting frustration on your behalf - do you know anyone who can talk to your brother and tell him to stop being such a t**t?
He left the place full of trash and dirt but at least we had the house back.
Anyway, I think $80,000 is crazy unreasonable. Heck, I thought $1,000 was unreasonable for a payoff. I would file whatever court action is needed in your state just to get the ball rolling while you try anything else you are going to try. I would hate for you to not file because "it will take a year" and then see a year go by anyway.
Bottom line is my Mom is 90 years old and we don't need the stress. I live in another state where my Mom now resides with me and I can't leave her alone too long and travel back and forth from state to state due to her dementia.
The attorney explained to me this is not a gift but a settlement which will not affect her getting Medicaid if and when she needs it.
This attorney is drafting a legal notice where my brother will get the money he wants but will have to leave the premises before he gets that money. He will talk to my brother and explain it to him. So I will know soon what will happen.
I also called APS and the lady said this was a legal matter but being the nice lady she is was going to look further into it.
All I want is to have peace of mind so I can take care of my Mom. It's only me and I don't have any help. I am doing the best I can for everyone involved even though my brother is a horrible human being and doesn't deserve a penny but I can't fight the rights he has because my Mom made mistakes by letting him move in with her and not drawing up a lease agreement and making him pay rent. The past is the past.
Jenna
I am sorry to her that he will get a settlement. while I think it is a good idea to have laws to protect tenants against unscrupulous landlords, where is the protection for landlords against unscrupulous tenants? I am so glad my state laws worked out for us (even though it still took months). We ended up renting Mom's house out for $2400 a month so the five months he squatted cost her $12K in unseen rent.
The settlement my brother will receive is also his inheritance (he will have no claim to any future monies). By law my brother is not considered a tenant.
I really dislike the "if" word but here it goes: If my Mom would have made my brother pay rent and had a lease agreement then my brother could have been evicted within a month or so (he would have been considered a tenant). But my Mom didn't do that and let him live for free with her for 11 years. That was a huge mistake and I warned my Mom not to let my brother move in with her. I also suggested to make my brother pay rent which he could have easily afforded but that never happened either.
I'm happy for you that everything worked out. I am working on a deadline to get my Mom's house sold (closing is in 2 weeks). If my Mom were younger and in better health I would have considered going for the long term eviction of my brother in which the Judge still would have awarded my brother money but my main concern is my Mom and her health. I don't know how much time my Mom has left. Priorities...
Jenna
And he'll be a HHB with enough money to cause his mother no further concern. You can write him off.
You're right, it'll be worth it. Sorry it's come to this.
I could have married an extremely wealthy man but I would have been the most miserable person because I never loved him. I have an estranged sister who married for money and she is the most miserable person I ever met. I learned a long time ago that even though money helps it does not buy happiness nor inner peace. Guess I'm a different type of person.
Jenna