I just moved in with my mother to care for her.Everytime I go out of a room she is bitching because I dont turn out the light,Its just not this she will wash out the coffee filters and reuse them.She wants me to turn off my computer at night I told her its in sleep mode but she saids how in the hell can a computer sleep.She is driving me crazy with all this saving shit.I even get bitch out for taking a 15 min shower Please someone help me.
You may be looking at Mother needing care for another 20 years. How does that prospect strike you?
If living in Mother's house is just not going to work out, it is best for both of you if that decision can be made sooner rather than later. It sounds like if Mother really needs 24/7 care she can afford it. That she doesn't want to spend her money in that way is not your problem.
I hope you didn't blow the proceeds from the sale of your condo on a flashy car and an exotic vacation, because it sounds to me like you may need it for a downpayment on another place of your own.
Your mother apparently has some health issues and needs care. You moved into her house. She probably feels her house, her rules. And she probably wants to hang on to as much independence as she can.
But if you plan to live with her long-term, I guess you want to resolve early isses that are driving you crazy already. Think this through and then have a heart to heart discussion with her (assuming she can carry on lucid conversations). Some battles are worth fighting, others are not. Decide before talking to what you are willing to go along with. Maybe you could develop the habit of shutting off lights behind you. Maybe it is no skin off your nose if she reuses coffee filters. But you are not willing to have your computer use or shower time dictated. I don't think you should expect to change your mother's frugality, but you want to limit how much it impinges on you. I think you also want to establish that you are no longer a child that she sets rules for but that you are adults living in mutual respect. You can use this conflict as an opportunity to establish a good foundation for your changed relationship.
Good luck to you!