Not sure if anyone can advise me, I feel I need legal advice but due to the nature I am not entitled to legal aid. My mother came to live with me and my boys in 2020 she is now 92 and last year was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It has been the toughest year almost to the point I am mentally broken. She could always be very mean and critical prior to the diagnosis. In November she went into hospital and that is when I had to make the decision that caring for her was making me ill and she would have to go into care. Mum was furious as she refuses to go into care. She called her granddaughter and said I have nowhere to live. I do not talk to the granddaughter, so she agreed to take her grandmother in. I was called by social services to say Yr mother has made allegations of theft against you and an investigation will be dealt with by the relevant team. I no she was telling ppl I stole her money prior to going into hospital and I kept telling her I haven't stolen your money. She has a lot of friends who I didn't tell them mum has Alzheimer’s as she went mad and shouted, I don't have Alzheimer’s. I didn't want them to start distancing themselves from her, so I didn't tell them. But to try and keep her happy I have made life very miserable for myself. I am one of 4 children but none of them wanted to help. Now mum has accused me of stealing they all had my back encouraging me to put her in a care home now they have all turned against me because they believe my mother. I unfortunately did not take out an LPA because I was in denial I didn't want the diagnosis to be true. And I never saw my mother as doing something so cruel as reporting me for theft. The DWP made me appointee for mums’ pension once I reported her diagnosis. Now mum is making so much trouble for me I cannot afford legal services. I gave up work to look after my mother but while she was in hospital she played them so well that they do not believe mum has Alzheimer’s. I am not worried about that as I have the medical report, the hospital could not see the report as she was out of the borough. I told all the doctors in the hospital mum has Alzheimer’s, but she told social services she is not going into a home as she makes her own decisions. Now my family are encouraging her to get me in trouble for accessing her money when she gave me control of her finances. My mother does not understand how to use ATMs she has limited mobility and cannot fend for herself, but she is aware that her stupid son and his wife plus grandchildren are trying to get me in trouble. I do not know what to do. Please anyone reading this do not make the same mistake I did, get an LPA as soon as Yr family member gets diagnosis, especially if you must take control of their finances. I don’t want this to get out of hand, but I am concerned when I thought my siblings had my back and then they do a complete 360 and now they are helping mum to take legal action. They have never helped me with her even though I reached out. Please help me she is sending me insane, but they said sorry going on holiday, sorry not feeling well. Sorry she can't live here, but Yr. not sorry when she says I've stolen her money you now want to no her... omg someone pls help me!
Now that her money is likely all gone she may need the help of government services and Medicaid, and if it cannot be proven by lookback on her records and accounts that her money was legitimately paid for her care THAT WILL BE A PROBLEM for her. You have a lot of excuses for why things were not correctly done, and your post DOES warn others that this cannot be. While "ignorance of the law is no excuse before the law" the fact is that this is very unlikely to end up in jail time for you.
Apparently, the carer for mom has now encouraged her to make allegations. You may need proof from her doctors to say that she had and has dementia, and that they discussed her dementia with you; they can be called as witnesses before the court. And in fact their names should have been given to the Social Workers who contacted you.
You say that you can't afford an attorney. That's fine. Get on with your life and sit tight. If you are called into court this would likely be a criminal case. You will tell the court that you cannot afford an attorney. Gather all your records and all your proof now so as to be ready. And give that to your appointed attorney.
Be ready to tell the truth under oath as to what happened.
If you didn't know to keep records then you didn't know. You cannot say much other than that, and that you're sorry.
This action is likely taken so she can enter care without accusations of having gifted. She needs proof she lived with you and how her monies were spent on her for her care, because currently she doesn't have records to prove that. The government does a 5 year lookback on how we spent our money. If she says "Hey, wasn't me, but my DAUGHTER who spent it?" Big whoops.
Not really much else you can do but wait and see. Try not to traumatize yourself daily. This may never happen, this may go on forever, and in fact she may be dead before it gets ANYWHERE. You can't know, so don't die a thousand cut death before it does. And when/if it does ask for a "court appointed attorney".
You've got to have a lot of money in savings before it's an issue, when you need either housing benefit or in home carers. My mum's carers were paid for privately because of her savings - until she needed palliative care, then the NHS takes over, however much money you have (unless you want private care).
My stepdad wants to move to a council run (local authority) sheltered housing place near his daughter. He only needs 3 months worth of bank statements. They just want evidence of his finances for housing benefit.
You are being investigated, but you haven't been arrested. The DWP will only send this to the police and CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) if they find evidence that you took your mum's pension money and used this for yourself.
I am assuming you are talking about state pension, a weekly amount of roughly £220, depending on your mum's NI (National Insurance) contributions. You only mentioned pension and not savings.
If your mum lived with you and you looked after her, fed her and clothed her, and she had money to go out and meet friends, I don't see how the DWP would have enough information to make a case against you.
If they think that they do, you would receive the services of a court appointed solicitor. This would be dealt with in the criminal courts, not the civil courts.
There is nothing much that legal advice can offer you at this point because, although an investigation is being carried out, you have not been charged with any offence.
In the meantime, go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau. They may or may not be able to help you with the legal problem, but they might be able to help you account for how your mum's pension money was spent.
Please remember that you were looking after your mum and any court is likely to look favourably on that. In the meantime, make sure that you have not collected your mum's pension money since she left your home. If you have, make sure that you return it - through the bank and not in cash, as you need a record of the transaction.
For our American friends here, the mum doesn't need any proof of how her pension was spent, only if there were thousands of pounds in her savings account missing. This is if she needs any benefits, such as housing benefit. They only look at the last 3 months (stepdad currently applying for a council run sheltered housing place), so I doubt this is the reason. It sounds like some family members like drama, or don't understand dementia.
We don't need Medicaid, we have the NHS - free to everyone at the point of use and paid for through taxation. So, this won't be an issue either.
Please try to not worry and separate yourself from the drama. Try and get an appointment through the CAB for help with showing how your mum's money was spent. You could also look to see if there's a law charity in your area. They're a bit overstretched by demand, since Legal Aid was severely cut under the Tories, but if you can get an appointment, they might at least give you an idea of what to expect.
I hope this all blows over soon and that you can just get on with your life. Take care.
The lesson for others here, is to account for every penny spent when you take control of a loved one's finances.
The nursing home manager, where my dad died, accused me of stealing money from him. I asked her where she got that idea and she waved his paying in book in my face, showing a figure with lots of noughts at the end.
I could have laughed if my dad wasn't on his death bed. I pointed out that the country where that bank was located used a comma where we use a decimal point (something that I'm constantly having to remind our students from Europe, as they do the same!), and even without those zeros after the comma it would look a lot of money in Pounds Stirling, but it wasn't and represented about £40 tops. Plus, I didn't have access to that bank.
There are some people who just like to make trouble. Or, in this case, can't understand pure human emotions - she was suspicious that I visited almost every day, bringing comfort and care, even though I hadn't seen the man for 50 years, since I was a toddler.
I hope the OP will be able to dismiss these accusations, too.
Thanks Miamoor.