In British Columbia, Canada, doctor-assisted suicide is now a legal right. That is, if you're not demented or suffering the ravages of alzheimers disease. My 82 year-old father's life is a living nightmare; it must be akin to a bad acid trip except that it's permanent. My once proud father, always meticulously dressed, who loved soccer and Italian opera, has been reduced to an incontinent babbling shell of a human being. Every minute of every day is relentless mental anguish; it's crying and head clutching and behaving in ways that are so fundamentally contrary to his character that I hardly know how to process it.
There are no drugs for this; there is no remedy; there is no hope. It's a ghastly horror. And he never would have wanted to live his way. The doctors say, "We have to change the laws." Right now, a rational person cannot "consent" to doctor-assisted death for something that hasn't happened yet. Which is absurd... And obviously the demented person has no say. What the family wants means nothing, we aren't to be trusted.....except with 24-7 care giving which saves the system billions of dollars every year. We're trusted with that.
My feeling is this: If a demented person cannot consent to die, they also cannot consent to live. They can't consent to anything; it's over. Their "life" is a pointless, meaningless waste, by any measure: time, resources, money..not to mention the wasted lives of family members. Care givers have got to speak up - write to your members of parliament or congress; say it to every doctor you encounter. The more it is talked about, the faster these laws will be changed.
Because this is inhumane. It's cruel. It's a ghastly existence that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Every die I pray that he'll die....why can't we show any mercy? Am I the only one who feels utterly bewildered by this?
I’ve told everyone in my family that I will not live with that or put them through that and I will find a way to off myself even if I have to wander off and jump off a cliff. If my mother had known what was in store for her she would have done the same thing.
That is not living, it’s not even what I would call existing because the person isn’t there anymore. My heart goes out to everyone that is suffering through this. There has to be an answer other than warehousing people. I live in the US.
I know this, if I was diagnosed with either, I spoke to my own doctor regarding this. I don't and will not live(?) like that.
Not only is it terrible, especially after a productive, happy life, but what it does to a family is unbelievable.
My friends Dad was the same as yours. And he lived for about 10-12 years with it. You know what went on.
Well, he died, naturally about 2-3 years ago. Hate to say this, but it was like a relief. Sounds mean, but it isn't.
My doctor knows exactly what I want to do.
Of course it's not legal, but there are ways they do it.
And you die with no pain and peacefully.
Niw remember, this is my choice, and I have a doctor who understands.
Find a doctor you can trust and understands.
I did.
May God bless you. I do know the hell you are going through.
We've talked at length about the lack of dignity and agony that so many of his patients suffer (he's a GI--so he sees colon cancer--a horrible way t go) and his heart aches for the patient, the family--well, he's very compassionate.
I watched my sweet, sweet father live nearly 2 years from a fractured spine due to his falling from Parkinson's. NOTHING ever stopped the pain. It was beyond heartbreaking. He asked me several times to OD him on his pain meds, but he never had quite enough on hand to do it. I often wonder if I would have, if I could have.
So---after this, and seeing so many people suffer so severely---I do believe in dr assisted suicide. My SIL has promised me a trip to Oregon when I'm "there"--although problem being, I probably won't be AWARE I'm "there". (B/C wer're a bit of a quirky family-we do speak oddly about this--last week SIL was in town, I was making a quick grocery store run and he said " Hey can I come". Sure, I don't get to spend near enough time alone with guy. We told the rest of the family we were taking off and my other SIL said "Oh, you going to Oregon? Well, come hug me goodbye".
I'm sure I'm well into the eye rolling 'OMG my MIL is crazy" and the trip to Oregon. I hope someday I can out this into legalese and stick it in my will, I don't want to live one month past my sell by date.
So, my dear, go in peace to Oregon. You are doing the right thing.❤️
I find it hard to believe that society can't see that prolonging life in this way is a bad choice for both the patient and the rest of us. No one in this condition would be able to survive without constant attention from caregivers. No one I know who is watching this decline wants to endure it themselves or put family members through the ordeal.
I do think that a living will document should include questions pertaining to dementia since this disease is on the rise with our extended lifespans. I would gladly say that I prefer death to a lengthy descent into oblivion.
I'm not comfortable with others deciding to end another's life - just too many conflicting interests and potential for misuse.
I would be agreeable to a quality of life document where someone while still competent could list a series of conditions (terminal illness, dementia diagnosis, deemed incompetent, doesn't recognize spouse and/or children, cannot speak, cannot eat, bedridden, etc) that when some combination were met a physician could assist an early death. I would want a physician to sign the original document declaring the person was competent at the time the document was signed. And a different physician to later execute the document.
I am in the US and a lot of people for religious reasons would never condone ‘mercy killing’ because that’s what we’re talking about here. A few of our states have passed laws legalizing euthanasia, Oregon for one. In every state it seems ‘hospice’ is called into cases at the drop of a hat. Some doctors recommend hospice prematurely, IMO.
I don’t like legislating serious life choices like this. I think it’s a slippery slope to allow the family to decide if a member is to be euthanized. Next, who else will have that life and death power to decide? Doctors? The government?
But I do agree that socialistic medical systems LOVE and encourage the elderly to be kept at home so they can save money. In the US a big industry of elder care facilities are popping up every where. There’s a fortune to be made on the baby boomers aging ordeals. It’s $2000-$6000 per month for assisted living facilities.
I’ve heard of individuals moving to Oregon to utilize the euthanasia laws there.
If I ever have any form of dementia, or even mild cognitive impairment, I am going to Dignitas, a clinic in Switzerland that offers assisted suicide for practically anything, including depression. They gave it to a healthy 72 year old retired nurse who had worked in care homes and did not want to wind up like that herself. My mother, with mild vascular dementia and severe arthritis, is much easier than most on this site, but I've decided that there is no way I will allow my daughter to be a caregiver. I want her to live her life.
And I don't want to suffer through that myself.
I literally pray every day that I get cancer like my father did.
I don't believe in prolonging the inevitable. If they found a cure in th1e very early stages that stopped the progression, I am all for it. Some meds help with symtoms but I would want no med that only slowed the progression. Who wants to be in a Dementia state for years. Some knowing something is wrong but can't understand it even if u try to explain. This is probably your Dad, its frustration even anxiety. If not already on something, a med may help.
The only legal thing you can do is go the hospice route during end stage.. although that isn't a guarantee that they still won't live on and on for years. For sure I wouldn't want a bunch of live saving measures that would cause me to live on.
In the movie Still Alice.. she tried to get a plan together and hoard some pills.. but when the time came.. she wasn't with it enough to follow through. Its easy to plan this when you are far away from having to follow through.. but I imagine it will be very difficult once you are there and in the moment..
My parents are in memory care and there are several people there that are really just living corpses.. they just exist. If they have a strong heart they could live on and on for years. My parents are still with it enough to still have some quality of life.. I would hate to see them eventually turn into these type of people that have absolutely no quality of life.
I wish there was a good solution to this.. when your brain is gone.. you should be gone.
I, for sure, do not want to burden my family. With the care of me and the feelings they will get because of the state of me. I have told ALL of them that if I am like this, that or the other then I would not want to carry on.
What a dilema
She says she wishes she could die on many visits.
I will try to get neurologically checked out if I see any slipping in my mental process. (Some say they didn't notice anything but I believe they're in denial.
I'll be living in Mexico when I retire. For a few pesos you can get a prescription for anything.
Taking enough sleeping pills would do the trick.
Alzheimer's is a fatal disease, it just is a very long process.
I would not want to live a miserable horrid existence, however, if I'm ignorantly blissful, feed me and house me.
I'm sorry you have to go on this difficult journey.