My mother has dementia and is becoming more and more "confused". She is forgetting to change her clothes, bath and now eat. We do have a caretaker visiting twice a week but she has not been able to get my Mother to change her clothes or bathe. Should we be considering a higher level of care?
When is it considered abusive to leave her alone?
You made a mistake, but it was well meant and done in love (and a little ignorance). Forgive yourself for that mistake and then move forward with correcting it. Your mother deserves the best care she can get, not the best care based on what you didn't know several years ago.
Maybe their will be some tears to go along with this decision. Cry if you must, but move forward with what is best for Mother.
Caregiving seems to involve a certain inevitable amount of guilt. If you keep Mom home you'll always wonder guiltily whether she would be better off in a professional care setting. Accept the guilt, push it to the background, and take the best actions you can in the interest of your loved one. Caregivers can't be paralized by guilt and also do the best job of caregiving.
Good luck to you and your mother.
The question is what are the options you can afford, both in money and in time.
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