. I just got that "horrible " reality check that dad ( has good wife) independent is losing mobility, some impaired thinking. I am 59 the only child, living in america, most died. left are: ( dad's side nice but standoffish 1st 1/2 blood cousins +family business . they fly holiday in my country,, not once invited me in 25 yrs to come see them?68+70+72+81 yrs .. .( divorced MOm's side ( dead) cousins ( Barely know)/stepdad's family ( nice warm) ( met 2 times) .., I have 57age 1 NARC brother,+ live in 48GF aloof person met her 3 times,, Both parents aging in place, so no huge responsibility. Do I just fake the family vibe..cousins dinners or separate the visits, between mother side / and father side ..I am stressed even thinking about the flights ( 4 planes) two cities. should I extend 1 visit , or make the whole trip longer....take hotel in between...I am tired of feeling high anxiety, with my narc brother parading his ego...making awkward increase. Does anyone have good plan to offset my own neglected heart. I wish I had sister, or close ally...or even husband..so alone
And you can just call the family members that you choose to, when you want to get any kind of updates, while staying in the comfort of your home.
I find you exceptionally articulate. Glad to have you here. And I absolutely identify with being the only child. When my parents were failing I had my big brother, the Hansel to my Gretel throughout life, and my rock.
But when my brother himself failed with Lewy's dementia five years ago I felt so alone. I can completely identify with you. I had not thought what it would be to be facing things all alone. Now at 82 and 84 respectively my partner and I know their one of us will exit on the other, or fail on the other. And the aloneness, though without an answer, is terrifying. Even when there is family, one cannot really find answers in that, and often only finds more confusion in suggestions.
Aging is just a crucible. For all involved.