He gets overwhelmed with our family (very large) and no one wants to be around him anymore. My dad is still working as a professional and is very successfull in his business. He refuses to slow down and is constantly working. The holidays at my parents are becoming something my siblings and I dread. He is becoming very crotchety and not very nice as he gets older, and we just dont know what to do about it anymore. It is to the point where a few of my siblings refuse to go over there house. He is very thick headed so whatever we say, he takes it personally and tells us all we dont know what we are talking about. He is wonderful in small groups of us, by any more then 6 or 8 people he cant handle it. He makes my mother feel terrible about it, and he threw us all out on Easter because it was too overwhelming for him. We thought at first maybe he is starting with dimentia, but since looking up the symptoms we dont think he has that.......yet anyway. Any comments or suggestions welcome! THank you!
If they are alone mostly besides these get togethers then having the whole family descend at once is overwhelming, noisy, intrusive....even though its a gathering of loved ones.
Second option. How about having most family members stay in hotel so that mom and dad have their house back in the evenings. That means -- family doesn't decent on parents until noon or so and promptly leaves by 7-8 pm back to the hotel. This gives parents chance to settle down and get their peace back.
Hey, I'm only 56 and above was my new rule. I'm the hostess for family get togethers, my 2 sons get to stay at the house, all other family members including grandparents, aunts, nieces and nephews have to agree to stay at hotel and we tell them to have brkfst at hotel. I provide lunches and dinner. It has made for more enjoyable quality get togethers.
Ps. My FIL is 83 and gets overwhelmed. I take that time to take him to a quiet room or the porch and the two of us just sit quietly with a snack and a beer or cup of coffee. It helps him have a little peace and he's later ready to rejoin the party.
I think the hearing problem makes sense. Mine is very mild, but I find myself getting into a temper when it's so noisy and confused.
Has anyone asked him what he would prefer? He might have a good idea.