My father was diagnosed with Alzheimers and my SM refuses to help. She had her name placed on his savings acoount and has now taken all his money. I have POA and we are trying to get back. She refuses to help with his meds, Refuses to have any caregivers come in and help him. Refuses to make him dinner, Refuses to let my brother and i help. She cut off the house phone. My father has a cell but messes with it and half the time it doesnt work. My SM screams and yells at him about everything. screams at him if his family visits. and so much more She has even gone as far as to call the police on me in an attempt to have me arrested for assault. Which never happened. I contacted dept of aging for help. They are trying to get my fathers money back. But now she has told my father that the agent from dept of aging is trying to put him in a nursing home and that they are liars. My dad is now mad at me, SM has told him that i lie to him and that I took his money etc. We have tried to get him to move in with either me or my brother, but he is use to his home and knows it. But i just dont know what to do. Its stressful and i dont sleep at night worrying about my father. Any options, opinions, etc i will take. Thank You.
You can also call APS; a person with dementia who can't operate a cell phone should under no circumstances be in a house with a phone he can't use. There is no justification for terminating land line service, even if people do that today and just rely on cell phone service.
I don't think his moving in with you or your brother is a good idea, for a few reasons:
1. Alzheimers will continue to advance, and it will become very difficult to care for him. It's generous of you to want to help your father, but either you or your brother or both will quickly become overwhelmed.
2. Your father's already angry at you b/c of misinformation; can you imagine living with him with that kind of anger?
3. Your father doesn't want to move. Being forced to would only heighten his hostility toward you, and might also induce more confusion from the necessity to become acclimated to different surroundings. That confusion can and probably would heighten the existing Alzheimer's behavior he already displays.
Physical abuse - you haven't highlighted it but I would just make sure he is safe
Sexual abuse - unlikely but can still happen
Psychological or emotional abuse such as: threats of harm or abandonment; deprivation of social or any other form of contact; humiliation, blaming, controlling, intimidation, coercion, or harassment; verbal abuse; prevention from receiving services or support.
Absolutely on this one
Financial or material abuse such as: theft; fraud or exploitation; pressure in connection with wills, property, or inheritance; misuse of property, possessions or benefits.
Absolutely on this one
Neglect or acts of omission such as: ignoring medical or physical care needs; preventing access to health, social care, or educational services; withholding the necessities of life, such as food, drink, or heating.
Absolutely on this one
Discriminatory abuse such as that based upon a person's race, sexuality, or disability; any other forms of harassment or slurs.
Depending on what she says this could apply
Domestic violence - all forms of abuse can be experienced in a family setting by a partner, family member, or with someone with whom there is a relationship. See Domestic violence .
Absolutely on this one
Institutional abuse and poor practice - disrespect and unethical practice, ill treatment and professional misconduct.
Not possible he is not in any institution but certainly disrespect
These do not have to be deliberate acts, they can be the result of either ignorance, knowledge or understanding. If a person is being abused one way they almost certainly being abused in other ways.