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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Don’t let it continue! I had my mom for 14 plus years and YES, the marriage does take a hit! It’s from the stress. Giving up so much of your lives for them. Tending to all of their needs. No privacy and so on.
My mom is now with my brother, at least until they place her in a facility if they choose to. Out of my hands now. I did more than my share. Whatever happens, happens.
For me it didn’t end well. I wish it had. I’ve wanted peace and harmony my whole life. Doesn’t always work out that way. My mom was great at stirring up crap. Pitting siblings against each other, just awful. Oh well...
I hope NY daughter in law weighs in. She is extremely sensible and has a FIL that is in assisted living.
Best of luck to you and your family. Hugs! Let us know how you are doing. Vent all you need to. We are here for you. Take care.
14 years is a long time! I have to wonder why your marriage is suffering now, after all this time? Has FIL become more needy? Has your husband stopped pitching in with his care? Have you been footing the bill for his care and now finances are tight? Don’t hold your breath if you’re expecting his sibs to pony up some cash for Dad’s care. If they’ve been absentee for Dad’s care all these years, they aren’t going to pop up now with a fistful of cash. They most likely are not going to pop up at all. I’d be tempted to leave them out of the equation entirely. They aren’t going to take Dad into their homes. The only way would be if you and your husband decide Dad needs to go to a facility and he has assets that would be left to them when he passes, they will realize those assets will disappear when he’s placed.
You need to deal with your husband. Don’t make idle threats. If you’re not at the point of ending your marriage and walking out, then don’t threaten to. Be honest with your husband but not accusatory or insulting. Work together toward a solution. Express your feelings that something needs to be done and ask for his ideas. They must be realistic ideas and something that can be put into place immediately. No vague promises. Understand that you most likely sealed your fate fourteen years ago. But compromises can be worked out.
IMO, there are only two options, another sibling takes him or he goes in AL. 14 years ..you have done your part, now it is time for someone else to step in or he goes into a home.
Your well being and your marriage comes before a parent.
Yes.............my suggestion is to either speak to the relatives about taking FIL in to live with them now, or, having him placed in Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing, depending upon his needs. 14 years is MORE than enough time to have cared for an elderly loved one. Hopefully, your husband is on board with getting his dad to live elsewhere? If not, you'll have to convince HIM that your marriage is more important and has to come first.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mom is now with my brother, at least until they place her in a facility if they choose to. Out of my hands now. I did more than my share. Whatever happens, happens.
For me it didn’t end well. I wish it had. I’ve wanted peace and harmony my whole life. Doesn’t always work out that way. My mom was great at stirring up crap. Pitting siblings against each other, just awful. Oh well...
I hope NY daughter in law weighs in. She is extremely sensible and has a FIL that is in assisted living.
Best of luck to you and your family. Hugs! Let us know how you are doing. Vent all you need to. We are here for you. Take care.
You need to deal with your husband. Don’t make idle threats. If you’re not at the point of ending your marriage and walking out, then don’t threaten to. Be honest with your husband but not accusatory or insulting. Work together toward a solution. Express your feelings that something needs to be done and ask for his ideas. They must be realistic ideas and something that can be put into place immediately. No vague promises. Understand that you most likely sealed your fate fourteen years ago. But compromises can be worked out.
Your well being and your marriage comes before a parent.
Best of luck!