My parents were very close - physically as well as emotionally. But since my mother has passed away (two years ago), I feel that my father would like to cuddle with me and kiss me to bring back memories of my mother. I am a married middle-aged woman (Dad is over 90) and this just totally upsets me. He has tried this four times now - always when we are alone. I do not go to see hime without my husband (Dad stll lives alone and is able to drive) but yesterday, he came to our home when I was alone. I have been very abrupt with him (and this bothers me as I always considered him as very kind and gentlemanly) but he just does not seem to get it. I know he is lonely but he refuses to move to a retirement facility. I do not want to tell anyone as it could ruin family relationships with him and with me - especially now since he is elderly and alone. What to do?
Has he had a stroke recently or been tested for alz.? This sudden change in personality seems to be more symptomatic of an illness.
Dad forcing you to "cuddle and kiss" at any age is abusive. Stop it now before it gets worse.
Is there a senior center nearby?
When my dad was devasted after losing his devoted wife, still able to drive, he resisted going there even tho there were some pretty hot old babes hanging out looking for gentlemen. I was is daughter, his rock.
Finally, after moving into a retirement community, the gals were all after him! He settled into a loving relationship with a great lady who passed away last year.
More hurt & sorrow - but, for a whle, I was able to share him with affectionate Helen, who ardored & doted on him. We both miss her.
BUT - your situation is way different! YOU are uncomfortable & wanting to push him away! I can't blame you!
He is confusing his affection, there's a name for it, trans - something.
Everyone is right suggestiong medical assesment, but him being buddies with his trusted doctor & you being the child ... what a dillema!
I suspect he won't allow an outside source, another doctor or professional, to enter the picture.
Keep your boundries & good luck to you!
Let's hope he finds a new affection somehow & soon!
Rip