Feel resentful towards them? Wish it would all go away? I was never really close to either of my parents and now dealing with caregiving within the same city where I live. Thank GOD they didn't move into our home, not even an option - they'll be on the street before they'd live with me. Thanks for this website just wonderful to know others are going through similar situations.
Just this week I blew up on my dad over his indignant comments about my hub helping. It was beyond rude and out of place. My hub has showed far more patience toward him than I was ever able to show growing up. He acts like cleaning up #1 and #2 accidents should be routine for us, and oh by the way, take time off from our jobs in the middle of the day because their house smelled like a stench. Thank God we both have understanding managers who allow us to do this without fear of being fired.
Yet they don't want to accept outside help. However, this summer I went around them and got it anyway. They don't know that's what it is, but it's working. Since it's a friend and she doesn't wear a uniform and no paperwork is there it doesn't appear to be help to them. That's another story. I wish I could turn back the clock and see this was coming. I would have been much more proactive about getting them and me prepared and at least try to drive some better decisions about future care. Hugs and prayers for you. Hang in there, you're in good company on this site!
My dad has dementia, my mom.. questionable. She climbed up on a step ladder to look for candy in the counter and fell, broke her wrist. She required surgery. I am already stressed to the limit with my job and now my mom can't do anything with her right arm!
Just went to fix them lunch.. yes.. now I have to fix them ALL meals.. and wash the dishes on my break from WORK. I have recently hired a caregiver who has not started yet.... my mom says... Geee... I just don't know what she will do ?? What is the use .. just to watch your Dad?? Saying this.. while I am frantically cooking lunch to get back to work to yet another conference call.
I said Mom.. what am I doing NOW??? YES.. IT is huge to find someone who can stay with my dad!! It is only me and my mom who will stay with my dad now... none of my good for nothing relatives. The caregiver can be doing this.... instead of me right now!!!
Sorry for the vent on your thread.. I am Soooo tired right now... and fed up. But yea.. I fell overburdened!!!!
So my sig other went out to my parents house, opened up the freezer, got out a Stouffer's dinner, and popped it in the microwave. I knew then we were in trouble if Mom didn't recover.
It's times like this where you want to put on a helmet and bang your head against the wall.
I'm 65 and I feel like I'm watching my own retirement "fun" disappear, as I have that constant burden of caregiving. So yeah, I feel your pain.