I would only be accessing the account to pay necessary bills. Mother is not competent. But I am not financial POA for her, only medical. If I am the executor of dad's will is this a non-issue? I don't want to get in trouble for paying out of their account. We are also trying to qualify mom for Medicaid so I recognize the importance of not moving assets and only paying bills. I am meeting with a lawyer next week but this question is weighing heavily on me. I also have big concerns about paying bills if/when mom passes (in hospice) if she doesn't qualify for Medicaid beforehand. Appreciate people's help and experience.
If your Dad passes before your Mom, and she doesn't have a FPoA then legally you cannot be doing anything with her finances such as paying bills. Something to do right now is to become joint on their checking and saving account (if possible) and set up all their bills on autopay, and set up as many online portals as possible. I'm not sure this can happen if you're FPoA for Dad but not Mom and they share accounts...not sure if a 3rd person can be added but you can go in with your Dad (or have him on speaker phone when calling in) and ask his bank this question.
Without PoA you won't have access to any other of her assets, like annuities or 401k, etc.
Without being her FPoA in your Dad's absence, you will need to file to become her guardian/conservator. I would talk to an elder law attorney sooner rather than later.
An attorney will be able to guide you on the best way to handle this.
I am sorry that you are losing your dad, may The Lord give you strength, wisdom and guidance for this difficult time.
Go through the will, trust, documents now to be certain there is not a document hidden in there, and often done with wills. Called a Spring POA if will document who holds POA for the person if the person becomes incompetent. Often needs the assessment of two MDs. Your mother may have such a document. Look for it, because otherwise you will be stuck getting guardianship or conservatorship which can be expensive.
See an attorney for options.
Make an appointment with the bank administration also, and ask what they need in this eventuality.