My dad is 89 and has demonstrated increasing signs of dementia over last 2 years. He had health issues that resulted him being in care facility from Apr-Jul 2013. During that time he was prescribed by physician at facility with medication to address depression and agitation. Now he is home and mostly bed-bound. His behavior and outbursts have gotten worse recently. I think his meds need to be changed. He no longer has a primary care physician (doesn't trust the old one). I had taken him to neurologist when initial signs of dementia appeared - he claimed he had no problems and refused to take medication after 3-4 days. How do I find a doctor to see him? With his current state, will doctor be able to determine what is normal versus dementia-impacted behavior? We are in northern NJ. He is increasingly verbally aggressive, and vehemently denies that he is experiencing any cognitive abilities. It is almost impossible to try to rationalize with him He feels that he is in control and that others are just out to get him.
Talk candidly with dr about meds. If dad refuses to take them, they don't do much good and depending on his state might not be of much benefit.
Start thinking of your boundaries, his long term prognosis and care needs and what you want to do going forward. Research dads finances and your options.
This is going to get worse, not better; meds or no meds. You may need in home care, respite care, daycare or combination of options that work for your family. It is not wrong to place dad if that is what it takes to preserve your family and sanity.
Educate yourself by reading thru this forum, and reading "36-hr day"; the departure zone, and other dementia and ALZ related info. We all reach a certain "bankrupt"point where we are emotionally or physically bankrupt and can't care for our elders or cope with their escalating needs.
Better to know that sooner than later for sakes of both the care giver and loved one.