A friend of the family has recently moved into AL. She is there due to her physical limitations, her mind is sharp as a tack. She is adjusting well, although it is a 40 minute drive for her husband to come visit. She hopes a bed will come available in the sister facility 20 minutes closer to home.
There will be a big Christmas Dinner with family invited on Dec 14, which she is looking forward to, but when I saw her yesterday, she was lamenting missing Christmas at home. Not complaining, but missing the traditions, decorating, treats, visiting, music etc. Her grandson has brought her a pretty little tree, but how can I help make it feel like Christmas for her?
Her kids are very far away and will not be here for Christmas. Her two grandsons are closer, one goes to school 40 minutes away, the other works about 6 hours away.
I would love to take her out for a drive to see the lights, but her physical limitations make getting her into a car very challenging and painful during the transfer.
Just looking for some suggestions on how to bring her some Christmas Cheer? I will see her on Friday again and ask, but would love some suggestions too.
She does have a TV, but I am not sure if she has a computer. I do not know if she has a way to play music. I will ask on Friday about bringing in treats, for her and for her to share with the others on her floor.
I visited on Friday and asked if she would like some homemade Christmas treats. She said that would be lovely and I will take some on the 10th.
I like the idea of bringing Christmas Cards and stamps so she can send some out. I will ask her husband about an address book, I will also ask him for suggestions.
I guess she is in more of a nursing home than assisted living. I am not clear on the differences and I think this facility offers differing levels of care. She has a bedroom, a fairly nice large private room with bathroom, takes all her meals in the dining room. She has physical impairments, mostly wheelchair bound, but mentally is fully functional. She commented that she is still figuring out which of the residents have dementia and which do not.
Unfortunately the home is about 45 minutes from her home community and she does not know anyone there. Her husband moving in with her or moving closer is not an option. When a bed came available she had to take it. Unfortunately in this part of Canada, the number of beds is out numbered by the number of people needing care.
I will ask her for her favourite recipes for treats and try to replicate them for her. It would be nice if she could give her grandson a familiar cookie or bar when he visits.
Magazine and newspaper subscriptions make good Xmas gifts.
Whatever you do it will be appreciated by your friend.
It's a form of an advent calendar.
Can you hire a helper to go with you to see the lights?
I moved my father into a memory care facility last August. I try to decorate his large window most major holidays - I buy the gel or cling decorations and bought some suction cups to hang small things. I put a wreath or large decoration on his door. There’s a small corner outside his door that I decorate with statues; for Christmas he has a small decorated tree. I can’t decorate his room much because he has a tendency to get into mischief when he gets bored and is left alone in his room: i.e., pulling gloves out of the box, tying knots in his oxygen tubing, turning on the shower and faucets in the bathroom, etc. -nothing major or destructive, but enough that I can’t leave large decorations lying around on his tables/floor.
Although he is not cognitive enough to realize the change of seasons, holidays, or what the decorations mean, his room looks nice for visitors and I feel good keeping it decorated for him. The family consult me for his gifts: they help supply him with replacement clothing, PJs, and any other clothing that he may need for his daily living. My sister and I buy material and she makes shirt protectors for him. To show appreciation to the staff, I periodically make up a large goodie basket.
Most of the family live out of state, but they visit him whenever they’re in town. He doesn’t know us most of the time, but a BIG smile comes to his face when he sees the great-grandkids!
So as you can see, nothing major or costly, but it’s the little things that count. Just a personal touch here and there. Bless you for wanting to make her feel more comfortable....
Been there done all of the decorating and had to take down. Find joy and peace in doing something for a old friend, Maybe the family will even help.
Each week on a Tuesday a nurse is helping me to do a Christmas countdown. I got 8 gifts (4 for each of them) and on Tuesday the nurse brings a gift for each of them to their room. Last week was the first of the gifts and my mom called to say they would save their gives for Christmas Day not realizing they would be receiving more. Once she understood she was very excited to receive her favorite face cream (Dad received shaving cream). I'm not sure that they understand they'll be getting a gift each week for four weeks but that's fine; they can be surprised each time it happens. It's my little way of letting them know I'm thinking of them all the time.
Hope this helps.
Oh. Oops. Sorry, I missed the part about grandson having... Well if he's chosen a pretty one then that's lovely of him! What a thoughtful young man.
I think I'll stop digging now. But go for glamour and style rather than family tradition, is what I mean.
Next week I will help her do a few cards. I'll include a recent picture of her.
Address them for her and let her sign her name and write anything else inside that she would like .
She loves to sing and comes up with old artists she remembers from long ago. I'll look them up on my phone and sometimes we find the song or artist she is remembering on YouTube. Sometimes she sings along. If you have a small speaker and a smart phone you might be able to pick up favorite carols and play them while you are there.
Closer to Christmas, I'll get her phone book out and we'll call different ones. This gives her an opportunity to reach out to two or three others a visit. When she gets cards, I'll display them. She likes to point out that she's gotten a card and will I hang it up for her. Then she'll forget who they are from and we'll talk about that and sometimes I get them all down for her to look through again. We talk about the holidays from long ago. That's always fun. Sometimes I think I'm hearing about a Hallmark movie that was just on. smile
I had an elderly neighbor who would stud oranges with cloves and give those away for treats.They smell wonderful. If she strung popcorn as a child, she might enjoy that.
Will her husband come and spend the day with her on Christmas? She might like some help finding him a gift? That would be a nice surprise for him. Perhaps family will send gifts that they can open together on Christmas?
I remember when I was dating my first husband, we had a family dinner with an old couple in attendance. A great aunt and uncle. After the dinner was over we took them to their home. They had received several gifts at the dinner. They took them home unopened. I thought perhaps they were saving them for Christmas which maybe was the next day. I can't remember right now, more than 50 years ago.
When we got to their house, we helped them in. They were the sweetest little couple. He called her wife and she called him sweetheart. They didn't have children. The minute we got them both settled in front of their fire and all their care packages of food and the gifts inside, they started ripping into them. It was really fun watching them. They were like little kids on Christmas morning. I remember one gift was red shoes, her favorite.
This will be a special Christmas for you, making it nice for her.