This question has been looming in my mind. I have read horror stories on here of caregivers who ended up in homeless shelters after devoting everything to care of a LO, and their LO passing. If you were able to avoid that, how were you able to do that?
I left corporate America to provide care for my LO who has required around the clock live in caregiving. Due to the decimation of my finances in trying to hold her up, no savings left, I also lost my car (not able to replace it after it malfunctioned), have maxed out my credit cards, and now have bad credit. She has required around the clock care, have had reimbursement from insurance through PDO program, yet it is meager and they cut member hours after the state mandated direct care worker pay to be increased to $15 an hour. I am currently in her apartment which I would need to leave in two weeks after any passing. As caregiving has consumed my life for the past decade I have had no social life. I have no resources, no one to reach out to for help, no car, credit that cannot get me an apartment, car loan or personal loan, nothing being left to me as she is disabled and has low-income. I have been looking for remote work, yet this is historically one of the worst job markets in history. Many people are applying to literally hundreds of employment posts with no response.
I'm sincerely worried about what is going to happen to me once my LO passes. Has anyone gone through this, and if so what did you do to get on your feet and quickly?
Thanks.
Thanks for your response.
I have completely different perception of the response I received from AlvaDeer that while contained information, was delivered in a manner that absolutely came across to me as unnecessarily condescending and aggressive in tone. Literally no need for that to communicate. Everyone else who has responded so far has done so in a respectful non-condescending or aggressive manner, regardless of if view points are shared or different. With that, I do appreciate your respectful tone in your reply.
Your response illustrates the reality of shelters that many people should be aware of. Definitely it is not a path I would want to take. We do have a case manager.
The reason for my question was to learn about other caregivers who have been in similar situations of having dealt with heavy caregiving situations (with things like long tenure, high needs, medically complex, expensive, only caregiver, etc.) and what they did pragmatically to avoid things like ending up in a shelter, etc.
The ideal scenario in our minds is finding additional remote work, and outsourcing a portion of the caregiving burden during the week and weekends. It would take a part of the burden off of me, and also give opportunity to find a great additional caregiver that can be relied upon as needed during any possible transition into hospice for my LO. It would also prevent her from going into a nursing home which neither of us prefer. Obviously though, life doesn't always go as planned. In the event the ideal plan does not work out, my question is meant to find what other people in similar situations of being the only caregiver / high needs caregiver to a LO with significant care needs have done to successfully transition from a situation that has taken a lot from them as a caregiver.
I see your point now. Seriously, good luck!! It's great you have a case manager for help. They can be a real asset in helping you to avoid being in a shelter (again definitely where you don't want to be). I guess caregivers in the situations you mentioned, do the best they can, and hope that they have something to fall back on when their caregiving comes to an end.
It's difficult work, what you mentioned would be an ideal situation and could actually work, and probably has for some.
You are right, though life does have challenges; if it didn't there wouldn't be a way of learning and for navigating and conquering tough obstacles that would get in the way.
Thanks for responding :}
I suggest you start by contacting the personnel director/HR person at some local facilities and asking for an interview meeting. Be honest and explain your situation. They may have some guidance about what you should do to relaunch employment in a place like theirs.
Likewise, talk to the owners or managers at a couple of caregiving agencies, which take requests and then assign people to jobs in homes or facilities, either short-term or long-term.
Other people to talk to are at Care.com, A Place for Mom, Visiting Angels, etc. Explain your experience and ask for guidance on how to put your skills to work in a new situation.
I typed my zip code into Care.com and it showed 81 families within a 15 mile range and 34 within a 10 mile range looking for senior care.
You can also look into emergency shelters in your area. Hopefully this will be short-term. But at least you'll have a place to sleep while you rebuild. They can connect you with resources, possibly including help with transportation such as bus fare to get to work.
I wish you well and hope you'll let us know how things are going for you.
I fear the longer you wait the worse it will be for you .
You have done more than enough resulting in such a financial spot .
Your LO will be taken care of in a facility .
You need to get back on your own feet asap .
Good Luck .
By the grace of a Higher Power is what got me moving. I had been laid off while taking care of my sister. My oldest brother was very concerned about me after Mom died and I was the one left in the house to take care of my sister. I must admit, it was a struggle. I got hired as a staffing coordinator at the home health care agency where I was employed as a home health aide. Later that job folded and I went on unemployment. I worked temp jobs as a receptionist while job hunting. It took me close to seven month to land another job through a recruitment agency. Luckily I was still plugged into the university as a part time student. I was still living at home. Eventually, I started the process to have my sister placed in a group home.
My suggestion to you is to start by looking for employment at the Department of Employment Services. Call your local university or check out their online website to see if they have any free certification programs. These programs are easy to complete requiring little time to expedite people back into the job market as soon as possible. Start by looking into emergency housing or shelters..
It will take time, but training would be a start. If you finished college, that is a plus.
Create a resume. Since you've done caregiving, check into long term facilities or a group home. Some places are short staffed and actually will train you. You can always switch jobs once you get training in another area.
Many people have ended up homeless after being promised a home in exchange of care. This never comes into fruition especially for a single person who is giving the caregiving.
I did find an apartment on my own. The rent was cheap and it didn't go up for years. It wasn't the best apartment, but it was my home.
What other choice would you have?
You aren't working. You are instead taking care of an elder, virtually free.
The choice was always there.
Normally one would say "While I would LOVE to take care of my elder virtually free, I cannot afford to. I must work. It takes a lifetime of working, saving, coupon clipping and good luck to have anything at all. A home? A nestegg for retirement? ANYTHING".
How could be possibly now right this when it is already done?
You do not tell us your age, but the direction I give you now is to save you from a shelter.
Place the loved one in care; she has no funds, so her money will ALL now go to her care and then be supplemented by Medicaid.
As for you? That would be going to work and at once.
You can apply in the very thing you are doing now--caregiving. You will need likely to work two shifts as much as you can, whether starting in kitchen, housekeeping or otherwise. You will give as your reason for no recent employment that you cared for a loved one.
You will start at the bottom and work your way up. Start with being in a shelter, then in a room in someone's home, then with a roommate, then with a cheap efficiency.
You will call council on aging.
You are doing what you are doing I imagine even without a care contract. So no savings?
You are, as you said, "that person". And here you are.
I am so dreadfully sorry, but you had to know all along that this is what would come of this? There was no other possible outcome.
Often our caregivers tell us "I thought I would get the home. She/he SAID". But of course the home will be gobbled up in clawback often once in facility care is needed.
So, start now. Because eventually you will HAVE TO START.
There are many jobs out there now.
I am so very sorry.