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My best friend has exhibited growing paranoia with her memory issues. She has believed for some time that people are breaking into her home and stealing the oddest items, e.g., her pots and pans, her underwear, her curtains for the back room, etc.
These are classic signs of some form of Dementia. It could also be another type of Mental Illness as well. But as with ANY medical problem you or rather she needs an expert diagnosis. The first place I would start, and most people have to start is with their Primary Doctor. Express the concerns, give accurate description as to what has been happening. Chances are the doctor will do a MME (mini mental exam) that is pretty much worthless as far as I am concerned since they have nothing to compare it to other than "the norm" Then ask for a referral to a Neurologist or better yet a Neuropsychologist. They will do very in depth testing to come to a diagnosis. Stick with your friend through this...she will need a good friend as this is a very difficult diagnosis. (any mental "disorder" is a difficult one) She will need a good friend and I can tell you many of her friends and family will abandon her. And I can not stress how important a Support group will be for you and her family. Good luck.
She needs an expert diagnosis by a neurologist or psychiatrist who knows both dementia and mental illness. That's the only way she'll receive proper treatment. I hope that she'll let you help her. Take care, Carol
Luckybag, is your friend under the care of a doctor? You could ask that the doctor review all meds she is taking, and check labels to see if prescriptions are being given by more than one doctor, then get all the meds under review by just one doctor. Just a guess. There are kind, informed people on this board who can help you more if you give more information about your friend. Wishing you well, it must be scary for you to see these changes.
My mom has dementia has had it since maybe 2006 when she started noticing her memory loss. Right before I moved her in with me two years ago she was experiencing some paranoia. She was claiming that someone was in the house, she could hear people talking in other rooms. She also said that they were coming in the house in the middle of the night and making a mess in the kitchen. Medication could help her but yes let the doctor give you an answer.
It is quite possible that she may be developing memory issues (of which there could be many possible causes) and has put things in odd places and doesn't recall doing it, rationalizing that someone else must have done it.
If I gave my back room curtains to Goodwill and forgot I did it, put a couple of pans in the linen closet, threw some panties in the trash instead of the laundry basket, etc. I could admit that I'm having memory problems and seek medical evaluation, or I could deny it is happening and find some other "logical" explanation -- such as someone is stealing my stuff.
That the rationalization is not very logical at all is part of the impairment! It is an attempt at self-protection. Your friend may not be very open to reasoning about this. I'm sure you've asked, "Why would anyone take your curtains and leave the valuables in that room?" You might have more success addressing the forgetfulness and suggest she have that checked out. "It's probably nothing. We all get distracted and forget things once in a while. But since it seems to be happening more often, you'll feel better once you have it checked out."
It is kind of you to be concerned for your friend. I hope she will be open to your help.
Go to the doctor with her to review medications, and have a check up. She is probably getting anxious as to what is happening to her. The faster she gets meds, the better. Remain calm and peaceful with her. I went through this with my mom. These are delusions. If they happen in the evening, 4:30pm and beyond, its called sundowning. I suggest you read The 36 Hour Day so you will know exactly how to help her. You will also receive wonderful advice in this site.
Doctor Diagnosis or anyone legally qualified to be certain it's an impartial person with the qualifications. It would be a shame for you to find out someone with access to her knowing her propensity towards paranoia is actually moving stuff around on her. There are some sick puppies in this world. Does anyone have access to her home that may have a sick sense of humor? Nothing surprises me anymore.
Paranoia and fears that items are being stolen is common for a person living with dementia, starting in the middle stages of dementia. The items being "stolen" are usually personal items such as underwear, favorite clothes, favorite kitchen utensils, etc. Often, these items are simply misplaced by the person living with dementia, and the usual location of the stored item is forgotten.
Years ago my mom noticed her good friend was having some troubles - her husband and one son were deceased so my mom went with her to the doctor - About all he could offer was a B-12 shot - it soon became very obvious she had Alzheimer's and it was progressing fast
This was before health care privacy acts and the like and I would think it would be much different now to try and help a friend without having health care POA
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But as with ANY medical problem you or rather she needs an expert diagnosis.
The first place I would start, and most people have to start is with their Primary Doctor.
Express the concerns, give accurate description as to what has been happening.
Chances are the doctor will do a MME (mini mental exam) that is pretty much worthless as far as I am concerned since they have nothing to compare it to other than "the norm"
Then ask for a referral to a Neurologist or better yet a Neuropsychologist.
They will do very in depth testing to come to a diagnosis.
Stick with your friend through this...she will need a good friend as this is a very difficult diagnosis. (any mental "disorder" is a difficult one) She will need a good friend and I can tell you many of her friends and family will abandon her.
And I can not stress how important a Support group will be for you and her family.
Good luck.
I hope that she'll let you help her.
Take care,
Carol
That the rationalization is not very logical at all is part of the impairment! It is an attempt at self-protection. Your friend may not be very open to reasoning about this. I'm sure you've asked, "Why would anyone take your curtains and leave the valuables in that room?" You might have more success addressing the forgetfulness and suggest she have that checked out. "It's probably nothing. We all get distracted and forget things once in a while. But since it seems to be happening more often, you'll feel better once you have it checked out."
It is kind of you to be concerned for your friend. I hope she will be open to your help.
Does your friend have family?
Years ago my mom noticed her good friend was having some troubles - her husband and one son were deceased so my mom went with her to the doctor - About all he could offer was a B-12 shot - it soon became very obvious she had Alzheimer's and it was progressing fast
This was before health care privacy acts and the like and I would think it would be much different now to try and help a friend without having health care POA