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I have tried working with agency but they sent someone untrained so didn't work out. My Husband will shower occasionally and let me wash his upper body but sporadic. He has had same shirt on for 3 days; fortunately he doesn't smell or sweat much now. Any suggestions?

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Between showers get those baby wipes, such as Huggies Natural Wipes, which are great to use inbetween showers.... I use them for myself :)

As for wearing the same shirt, throw it into the hamper, unless he goes hamper diving looking for things to wear. If yes, hide a hamper some place else. If hubby tends to not do things that would make him sweat, wearing the same shirt 2 days in a row should be ok.
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I'm assuming he sleeps in his clothes. If he doesn't, I'd think you'd know to just take them and put them in the hamper. So. He sleeps in them.

For his underwear, when he's in the bathroom, knock and walk in with a clean pair and promise him a pretty. Or a dish of ice cream. Try it. Can't hurt.

As for showering? Unless he's digging ditches or playing in mud puddles, once a week is enough. And a bird bath is sufficient. Get a personal aid, and stay handy to cajole him. Manipulate him. Whatever it takes. How about guilt? "Honey, after all I do for you, can't you do this one little thing for me?? For ice cream??" Add a great big smile and see what happens.
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When dealing with dementia at home, I wouldn't worry about him showering occasionally and wearing a shirt for 3 days. I don't see any harm in that. There are bath wipes you can use in between. I would be glad he does that much.

I'm not sure what you meant by the in home help that came and were unsuccessful. Did he refuse to allow them to bathe him? That's not uncommon. I don't have any tips for that. Maybe some here will.
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Older people just don't need to shower as often as active people who are out working and/or mixing with the public daily.

Try the NoRinse products for shampoo and shower. They'll lather up, wash, then can be removed with a towel to pat dry. No immersion, no climbing in and out of tubs, no worry about being cold in the winter time.

They're used in the hospital we go to and work well. It's not as rejuvenating as having water pouring down on you in a shower, but they'll get a person clean.
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Postcardlynn: There is something wrong with a man who doesn't want to bathe! Get him seen by a psychiatrist!
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Llamalover, as per the original writer's profile, her husband has Alzheimer's/Dementia and that is a very common issue of not wanting to bathe.
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I do once a week with my husband, he takes his clothes off so easy to switch clean clothes as soon as he's asleep, also takes t sort off to shave, I just do a quick gran and replace, then hold up clean boxers he fusses but will change. The once a week I take a coffe up to him laced with an am pill, so he's becoming calm, sit a bit talking then ease him into bathroom and shower, it's always a hassle but he finally gets in, I was trying to bath him every day, then every two days, just was not worth the frustration for him nor I. If your husband sleeps in a chair with clothes that's a tough one to answer, I would follow Maggie's suggestions also. Just don't get agitated you'll set him off.
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Oh you poor dears, I cannot imagine having a husband around who would not want to change clothing? My hubby (we are 50 - somethings ) changes everything after work, and into garden clothes and then into another set for late dinners. And then fresh pj's every nite! I am doing so much laundry I feel guilty about the water, have rigged up a grey water system to spout it outside and onto the lawn. If he ever doesn't change his clothes then I will suspect dementia.....
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My daughter works in a nursing facility. They only shower residents 3x a week. I wash Mom M, W, F on Sun a sponge bath.
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freqflyer: What comes up on my smartphone is nothing mentioning Alzheimer's or Dementia.
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