My mom is 101, she has vascular dementia, she was diagnosed in 2019. I took an early retirement to take care of her. I have been her only caretaker 24/7 for the last 5 years. Besides being totally burned out, is getting harder for me to handle her on my own. She is very easy going which is a blessing, however bathing her and taking her out to doctor appointments is getting very hard since the minute we are out of the house she freezes up on me, she in no longer able to go up or down stairs and there are 7 of them that she needs to go down on. I have build a way for her to sit on her wheelchair and wheel her out in a way she doesn’t have to use the stairs, but just getting her into the car has become very difficult since sometimes she won’t stand up leaving me to carry her to the seat on the car. I have started to develop back and hip problems. I am looking in to an adult care home. I have found one that seems to meet her needs since she only speaks Spanish. I feel very guilty about doing this but I am neglecting myself so much, can’t even go to appointments for myself unless I take her with me. We live in a remote area so getting help has been impossible. Any advice at this point. I would very much appreciate it. Vera
You are risking your very life. When you die before your mother, where does that leave her? In the care of others without even a visit from you.
I think you already recognize this is no longer a choice for you.
I am so sorry for the grief.
Time to place her and for you to become her daughter again, not her caregiver.
Sending support your way.