I have realized my mom will not move near me until she doesn't have a home to go back to. She is visiting me now (out of town) and we have looked at senior living communities while here. One day she is ready to sell her condo, 4 hours later she talks about how hard change is, understandably, but she doesn't remember the conversation from the morning to the afternoon. That said, my sister and I are named as owners on the deed, too, and I am first POA w/ my sister in agreement to sell the condo. I have told her we are going to list it, sometimes she asks if it's listed and I feel like saying yes. I'm just wondering if anyone has just ripped the bandaid off and sold their LO's home. Any advice is welcomed as always.
We also had a Real Estate POA executed that enabled me to sell her home.
It was a smooth transaction.
The worst part was cleaning out 45 years of stuff on my own prior to listing the home.
The past six months have been consumed with selling their home and condo and emptying out their things from each residence. Was it difficult, absolutely! Did it need to happen, Absolutely!
Since your mom is willing to look at senior communities, then take her to them. Since she has dementia, she can't make all the decisions for herself. That is why you have POA; you have to make the hard decisions. Do what makes your mom safe. It is hard but you have been given the job of deciding for her when she cannot decide for herself. I wish you all the luck in the world. It is hard but knowing that they are safe at least helps you sleep at night. Do what you can now, don't wait, it will not get easier.
You are 100% correct. The OP needs to read the POA where she will see that her mother is giving her permission to conduct any business for her mother.
If Mom is showing signs of Dementia, she needs an Assisted Living or even Memory care.
You say that you, your sister, AND your mother are ALL ON TITLE AND DEED?
Is that correct?
If so, then any ONE of you, according to many state laws, can "force the sale" of the condo. That is you can say you want to sell, and require all others to do so as well. This would be a COURT action for which you would get an attorney. It is not done as POA.
You say nothing about your mother being incompetent.
If she is not you have a poor understanding of the duties as POA and you should attend an elder law attorney to get facts, as well as reading your document about your powers.
While the principle who appointed you POA is COMPETENT to make her own decisions SHE DECIDES what will be done in her life. Not you. When she is no longer competent, when her dementia is to the state where she cannot safely make decisions, THEN you can sell the home and place her as you see best for her own safety.
Currently your mother, if not incompetent, can remove your POA in two seconds by walking into any attorney office she wishes. Were you aware of this?
Do become educated about POA in your own state. It is crucial. It is a LEGAL FIDUCIARY duty held to the highest standards under the law.
it's better to start the process of selling moms condo now rather than waiting until there is an emergency.
Good luck to you and your sister.
https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-are-adls-and-iadls-2510011
Maybe talk with a certified elderlaw attorney (CELA) if you're unsure as to where you stand. Would assume that at least her share of the sale would be applied to her living costs. If it is the beginings of dementia, keep in mind that a move to a community that offers a good memory care program for her future needs might be best.
Many people in your mother’s age group have a very tough time adjusting to this situation, and as loving POAs you will find yourself in a position in which you will be forced to make choices that will result in less than happy endings.
If she shouldn’t be driving, she shouldn't be driving. If you sell the condo and tell her that you want her to be living nearer to you and your sister, that transition at least will be a little more natural- “You don’t really need the car any more Mom, we’re glad to take you to——-.”
Many POAs/caregivers consider this period of decision making especially difficult. I definitely felt that way, but once done things ultimately smoothed out for LO.
But I agree an elder attorney would be helpful.
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