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My husband is a Vietnam vet with vascular dementia. We have never used VA doctors or hospitals. My husband is at home but I’m not sure how much longer that will be possible. I’ve been told the average cost for memory care facilities in our area is $7000 a month. Our income is too high for Medicaid but I’m wondering if there is a less expensive option through the VA.

My dad received Aid and Attendance benefits from the VA which helped him pay the cost of AL for he and mom. Look into it.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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My Dad was a Korean vet and served during a time of war. He was honorably discharged after one tour. He never could get any benefits from VA. He's passed and I've looked at survivor's benefits for Mom (Aid & Attendance) but assets + income is too high according to them.

You can try the VA caregiver support line 1-855-260-3274 and see what information they can give you.
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Reply to Sha1911
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I have a friend whose husband in currently in a VA nursing home. He moved there after a hip fracture caused by advanced Parkinson’s. It has been a great choice. He’s receiving continuing therapy to maintain skills and has developed a group of friends there. My friend’s financial situation has been unchanged. They both praise the help of the VA
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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My Ex is a Vietnam combat vet, and it is almost impossible to get into Assisted Living/Memory Care, since the waiting lists are 5 years long. He has to sign up for VA Medical first to get approved. He can have both Medicare and VA Medical coverage.
VA Medical care is not the greatest I've experienced. Trying to schedule an appt. takes 3-4 phone calls. Most VA Medical centers are in distant or inconvenient locations. Everything at a VA Medical center requires numerous forms.

Every state also has state sponsored VA Homes, expansive in size with different levels of care and amenities. California's state VA system is called "Cal Vet." The Dept. of Veterans Affairs (Federal VA) have "Community Living Facilities" that are generally near a VA Medical Center. They are kept secret, and require you to get a referral from a Federal VA Social Worker. The basic cost of a room in a VA managed care facility will be 60%-70% of his current income. Not all facilities have private rooms or bathrooms.

Find his Form DD214 before you start looking for places. Nothing can be done or arranged without it. The applications are dozens of pages and require copies of recent medical records, Primary doctor's notes, specialist medical notes, bank statements, property ownership/mortgage info, and prior tax returns. Admissions for Veterans with dementia will require a neurologist report, in order to place them.

Go to the www.VA.gov website for more information. Check your state's veteran facilities, which are usually nicer and have lots of amenities. Get started now, since the Wait List is terrible. He can keep his civilian doctors, but the VA requires their own doctors to check him out and interview him. Plus chest x-rays, TB tests, and all vaccines must be current.

Good Luck!
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AlvaDeer Jun 1, 2024
Yikes. Good information but tough to hear there is so little help.
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While it is time consuming and takes work - I highly suggest going the route of looking into the VA benefits. The VA has come a LONG way in my opinion from the days when my grandfather needed assistance when I was younger (and he struggled to get next to nothing) to my FIL getting rejected for almost nothing he asked for.

I won't lie - it is a myriad of twists and turns and you have to be diligent about it, you have to have the right information in hand, you have to stay on top of it. But if you do - the VA seems to actually have a number of excellent resources available - you just have to know what to ask for - they won't just open the firehose and say "here you go".

My FIL had so many benefits AT home that allowed him to stay home for at least 10 years longer than he probably would have otherwise. And when we did finally have to move him to a SNF - there was a bed available in a VA home about an hour away - where his service disability afforded him fully covered room/board until his death last year. Private pay was SIGNIFICANTLY discounted until his full disability benefits came through. He was incredibly blessed.

You may not get everything you need or want - but it is certainly worth the time and effort to look into it.
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Reply to BlueEyedGirl94
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Anything federal which this is you should contact your congressman/woman in person at their local district office if possible or by phone if necessary. In person is preferred as they will want to copy his DD 214 and other identification. Helping their constituents is a big part of their job. I think you will find things move along faster with their help. Good luck.
PS: if you cannot find his discharge papers go to the VA website, they make it fairly easy to obtain a replacement.
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Reply to robert152
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Dawn's post to you below has scared me regarding any ability to get in facility care, but I sure hope you will be able to get some care and some good answers with some of the suggestions below.

Have you considered seeing an elder law attorney about some ways you might do division of finances to protect yourself for that time you hubby does have to go into care? I don't want to see your funds disappear in his care before he can qualify for SOME governmental help. I think an elder law attorney might point you toward some options. You would be buying an expensive hour of time, but you would get some good information.

Good luck. Hope you will update us.
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Lovemom1941 Jun 3, 2024
It's important to note that most elder care attorneys will do a consult for free that will tell you what they can do to assist you.
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The V.A. IS A WOUNDERFUL START THEY HAVE A VARIETY OF OPTIONS AND A TEAM OF PEOPLE ALL VERY WILLING TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR SITUATION.I HAVE A 94 YEAR OLD UNCLE WITH THE SAME ISSUES AND THEY HAVE BEEN GREATAND HE IS STILL AT HOMEWITH DOCTORS, NURSESAND CAREGIVERS ALL PROVIDED BY THE V.A.
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Reply to kirkseyduane1
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yes there is assistance available through the VA they have a home based program contact The Key home care for more information
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Reply to Mjackson
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My husband is also a Vietnam veteran. We have worked with the VA for many years and they have provided great medical care for him and access to caregiver support groups and educational sessions for me. I don’t know what we’d do without them. As one person responded, the first thing you have to do is get him signed up for Medical Care.

If there is a VA medical facility or clinic near you, go talk with them. The Department of Veterans Affairs phone number is 800/827-1000. If there isn’t a VA near you, you can request a Field Service Officer for assistance. You could start with the Disabled American Veterans (DAV) at 877/426-2838 (www.DAV.org) or the America Legion at 800/433-3318 (Customer Service) or www.legion.org.

We got started on this journey with a Field Service Officer at the Armory in our hometown. He was SO helpful and knowledgeable.

It does take time and effort but it is worth it. Don’t give up. Gather whatever military records he may have including his DD214. It’ll be helpful as you talk to people.

Best of luck!
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Reply to LSC1269
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I have caregivers funded by the VA who come to my house 13 hours a week. They cook, clean, do laundry, pick up groceries, etc. I can still get to the bathroom on my own.
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Reply to Oldvet
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We live in Oregon. My husband is a Vietnam vet and we have 3 veteran's homes in the state. I'm providing this information as an example for you to look into what is available in your state. We looked into the nearest one to us, took a tour of the memory care unit and talked with the admissions rep. It's a very nice facility. Any vet with 70% or above service-related disability can receive their services free. Under 70% pays whatever the rate is. I didn't get that info because my husband is over 70%. The criteria they use for qualifying is this: The vet must require physical assistance in 3 of the following 6 categories: Feeding, dressing, toileting, bathing, ambulation/wheelchair use, and transfers (from sitting to standing and vice versa). My husband isn't at the level of actual physical assistance in those areas yet, so we don't qualify at this time. I hope this helps a bit.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I accessed the VA when my dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia through his primary care doctor at the VA. I was then referred to a social worker that could provide a list of approved home care agencies. Once an agency was chosen, then a nurse came to the house to evaluate the patient. A schedule is created based on the needs. The nurse was able to order depends, organize medication and communicate with my dad's primary care doctor. My dad had an evaluation for PT and OT. The PT therapist evaluated my dad's physical needs and ordered a cane, walker and eventually a wheelchair. The OT services were very helpful because the therapist can order bed rails, shower grips, shower chair and other tools to aid living at home. Also, a personal care assistant that can give the patient a shower, do light house keeping, meal prep and run errands as well as give you respite care! All of these services and equipment were free!

Another resource is to have your husband evaluated for hospice. I know that no one likes to hear that word but I learned that home care from hospice doesn't mean the person is going to die in a matter of days. In your husband's case (and my dad's situation) the progressive disease won't improve. Hospice would set up services for 6 months. This service can be renewed another 6 months, etc.
Hospice will provide a team of a nurse/doctor, chaplain and social worker. There are additional services like music therapy, hygiene support (cutting finger nails and providing a shower/shave) One of the goals of hospice is to try to provide as many medical services at home even a swallow study with an x-ray. There goal is to keep the patient from spending all of one's remaining days in the hospital. I appreciated that! Hospice is paid through Medicare. There are NO COSTS for these services!

My dad did not qualify for VA nursing home. My understanding is that the disabilities to qualify had to come from service not old age.

It's a tough road! My caregiving phase lasted 2 years. Try to take some time for yourself. I wish you well on your journey.
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TouchMatters Jun 9, 2024
Hospice is a good idea. I was going to edit my post to include.
A person doesn't have to have a diagnosis of dying to qualify for Hospice. My friend got Hospice.
IMPORTANT: Family needs to understand Hospice policy / intention of giving and how they give meditations - for comfort care and not to keep a person alive. They may not even treat sprains, falls, broken bones unless it is considered "comfort care."
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I am answering twice because I want to be sure you see this VITAL information.

Fill out this form ASAP and turn it in now. chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.vba.va.gov/pubs/forms/VBA-21-0966-ARE.pdf

This form will start the clock on benefits the second it is logged in by the VA so drop it off personally if you can. If and when he gets benefits, they will date back to the date of this form.

Now Google VA "Veterans Service Organizations" to find out who in your area can help you apply for benefits for free. In Texas, every county has an office that handles this, they are extremely knowledgeable. There are many people who help with these benefits for pay but there are many who get that pay through grants so the Veteran doesn't have to pay for it, so look for a "grant-funded" one. It took us a few days to talk with one, then because we had already filed the "intent to file" form, his benefits were back-dated. We had to fill out and authorization form which they provided (Form 21-22) so they could help with benefits. I also recommend having him fill in a 21-22 showing that they can talk to you about his benefits.
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Reply to Lovemom1941
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Your husband should have registered with the VA decades ago for healthcare / medical services - and I wonder why you / he didn't do this - although water under the bridge now. You will need to call the VA. I believe their is a waiting list for vets for housing; their social worker(s) might be able to assist your husband.
If needed, hire an independent social worker to help you.

When you fall through the financial cracks of the system, it is a sad reality that a person either needs to be dirt poor or have financial resources up to $10,000+++ a month. It is a travesty of our healthcare system in this country.
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Reply to TouchMatters
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IMO why do vets not sign up for VA benefits? Because, VA hospitals are not always close. The one close to me in my State is 45 min away on back roads and so is the VA home. The VA hospital closest to us, is in another State with a bridge separating the States. Those serving in Viet Nam were drafted for 2 years and served in VN one year. They came home and got jobs that had health benefits. No need for a VA NH, they were in their 20s. And don't forget, at one time VA hospitals were not thought well of. Especially their homes. Last place these men wanted to be. The only men I know who took advantage of the VA hospital was one who owned his own business and retired the other retired.

Benefits like Aid and Attendence cannot be applied for till 65 and then there has to be a health need. It also will not cover the cost of Memory care and cannot be used with Medicaid.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Call nearest VA assistance center. He qualifies for care at a VA Clinic and VA Hospital. Once he is getting his care through the VA, they can assist you with making plans for his future needs.
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