Well, it happened. I feel incredibly guilty because I yelled at my MIL that lives with me and told her she had to use her walker no matter what if she wants us to continue to care for her. It is too dangerous not to. She is on Eliquis. She does not have dementia but she is 94 and not stable on her feet.
Because someone is elderly doesn't that mean we can't get mad at them? I don't have kids and I feel like this is something people with kids go through.
Thoughts? Suggestions?
Appreciatively,
Kim
Sigh.
A few days ago, with my family caregiving long past and a few thousand client visits later, I explained the identical problem to two family members thus: "it does not enter her (my client's) head to use her call button or to use her walker. She actually puts it to one side out of her way when she gets up, does she?" (yes).
I can't tell you how strongly I sympathise with you. The person we are responsible for appears stubborn, careless, thoughtless, inconsiderate, reckless, obstinate, intentionally self-destructive...
No such thing, of course. They just didn't think or couldn't be bothered to fuss with their walker. Keep your shirt on! they're thinking.
Your MIL doesn't have dementia, so it may not be the case that she literally *cannot* think to use her walker (any more than she can do calculus or jump ten feet in the air) as it was with my mother; but it probably is the case that she just hasn't got into the habit of using it and finding it a benefit.
You are not wrong to have lost your temper, and to be stressed by her tottering around the place apparently in search of sharp, hard corners to bang her head against. The only suggestion I have to make is try to divide things strictly between Helpful, and Unhelpful, and reject the latter. Yelling won't help.
You have to stress that using the aid means more choices, not less dignity!