How do you deal with her not recognizing her 'stuff'...she says these are not her things and someone has replaced her things...my only response is "well, they're yours now...enjoy them!"...I'm thankful she still knows me...and I'm finding it harder and harder to keep my sanity with the reasoning with her. She keeps saying "Am I losing my mind?".....so sad...but also frustrating and stressful...
I wanted a way to keep memories alive and got a digital photo album. I selected pictures of family members and before EACH photo I typed out who was in the photo or what they were doing such as “Your sister Betty and her daughter Fran.” Just a few words, then the digital album would transition to show the picture of the 2 ladies. For instance before a picture of her granddaughter and great granddaughter I had the photo “Liz with her baby Scarlett. Scarlett has the Adkin’s red hair!” I didn’t know if this digital photo frame was helpful to her or not until we visited with my son, who just recently grown a beard. And the beard came in red. When my MIL saw him she said, “You have the Adkin’s red hair!” I think it is helping because she is getting the prompts, then seeing the pictures over and over again. I may add photos of some of her items to the digial display and do the same thing. She lives in a memory unit, not at home.
They must be yours, they are your favorite color, your size, in your closet, they must be yours, with a smile.
Our 87 year old had to change to gym shoes and even though we bought her a sketchers Mary Jane style, at the foot doctors request, she still thinks every morning that they are not hers.
Then we had to ease her into socks, not nylons that go with those gym shoes, sometimes we just cant believe what we see with AD, but do everything with a smile...
Keep coming back to this site, we all have been there and you're not the only one going through this!!! Lots of great advice here!!
A little tongue in cheek hete, but were you a fan of Fran & Ollie too? Haha, I hope you know what I mean.
Seriously, though, when it comes to your mom, you will find that it's better to reserve your energy and not try to reason with her. Her logic and comprehension are no longer intact. It's a natural instinct to try to explain things to her because you think it will be helpful, but it won't.
Within the path that she's on right now, her memory has substantially decreased while she still has some awareness. It will be easier when she passes out of that phase and has less awareness.
My mom wasn't as nice about it as yours is, asking if she's losing her mind. My mom was adamant and vocal that she wasn't "crazy" because she couldn't remember things.
What I'd tell my mom might work for yours - mom, weed live so long, there are too many things to remember, and sometimes we just forget some of them. Somehow it made her feel better when I join her club as I pretended to forget things too. It used to aggravate her that I could remember things and she couldn't, so I just stopped telling her what I remembered.
Sometimes you feel as if you'll lose yourself in doing that, but you never do. Not really. And eventually you come to realize that what's really important it is what makes them comfortable and eases their minds.
As for her "stuff," you may just have to say that it really doesn't matter if she owns it since this is for her use. Yes, that will need to be repeated over and over.
As far as "am I losing my mind?" - So very, very sad. If it's any comfort it's almost easier when the person doesn't know that they are having these issues, and that time will come. You can comfort her best now by not tying to use logic, but go along with her when you can. If she repeats "am I losing my mind?" I'd simply say, not at all. "You are still you. It's just that your dementia has made some kinds of memory and thinking hard for you. That doesn't mean you're losing your mind."
Take care, Kukla77. Please keep coming back to agingcare for support. There are many in this wonderful community who can understand what you are coping with.
Carol