She just finished her first year of nursing school, came back for the summer and has turned into a surly, snotty, know-it-all. The love and concern she once had for me, her mom is completely gone and I can do nothing right. She exists here as a bad boarder, doing what she wants and constantly on me for "yelling" at her Grandpa, who is 93 yrs old, suffers from dementia and is hard of hearing. I am literally counting the days until she GETS OUT and goes back to school! She has caused me nothing but heartache and tears and I am tired of her.
The summer won't last forever, and neither will this self-centered stage. Unlike an elder with dementia, she is going to get past this and improve! Count the days. And have faith that this too shall pass.
Hang in there--- (((hugs))))
Jeannegibbs --I think I am getting old because my first thought to your post was -"kids now of days are all late bloomers!" :^\
Cap'n -make peace with your son! Do it! NOW!
Love her through it. It's not fair, and she is being a b**ch, but love her through it. She will get better. Don't take it personally. She has probably displaced all her faults onto you, so that she can endure being herself. She's glad to be "free", and terrified to be free. Be glad you don't have to live inside all that angst.
If you can stand to, I recommend saying "susie, I love you, even though you're being a bitch." or "I'm sorry you have such a horrible mother. But I do love you." It will remind her that you love her, let you be the bigger person, and really pi** her off, which is a bonus!
I have twins who went away to University of Florida, became nurses. One is a little prickly (as we say in the family) at times, the other a total sweet heart.
I don't think it is necessarily college that makes them the way they are, I just think it is part of their growing up, growing independent and growing into who they really are.
With the Ivey League princess, I set boundaries and things began to change. Sometimes these kids will take advantage of you if you let them. You have to be tough and demand respect.
They all eventually grow up, hopefully sooner than later.
See All Answers