I'm curious as to how you may be planning to spend Mothers Day with your ALZ or dementia mother? This will be the first Mothers Day for our mother in an MC group home. She's been there for three months and is slowly settling in. We are thinking about taking her out for the day, then maybe coming back to the MC for cake and going through photos. In the so-called ALZ stages, mom is anywhere from state 2 to stage 5-ish. Thoughts?
For us, we cannot take her out to a restaurant. She is on 24 hour continuous oxygen and uses a wheelchair, although she doesn't need to sit in the wheelchair to get around; she is capable of standing up on her own and pushing it like a grocery cart, to get around -- within the nursing home - short distances. Would not want to try that in an outside restaurant! Meaning, she is not confined to sitting in a wheelchair, but would have to be transported in one if we go outside the facility and with the 3-hour level oxygen tank if we tried to take her out. And, you know what? It's not worth it even if we could manage it. For years before she went to the nursing home, when we all went out for a meal, she complained that the place was too noisy and she hated waiting for a table, and then wanted to leave as soon as she was done eating...even if we were not done. And, getting her to a bathroom in a restaurant would be a nightmare. They may be required to have handicapped access, to get into the place, but getting someone in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank attached through the dining room to the bathrorom? Just not worth it.
So, we will bring everything to her.
Don't get hung up on guilty thoughts of what you "should" do. ALZ is a game changer and planning a stressful, exhausting day will not be doing anyone any favors.