I can not tell if my grandmother has early Alzheimers or if she doesn't care anymore because everything is done for her. We live in Arizona and after we leave for the night she opens both of her doors and leaves them open. Her AC was just fixed yesterday because she blew out the fan. She never puts her food away after she's done and seems to not clean up after herself. In the morning we take care of that for her. In the past she has let her homes go to the point of animal feces and rats. We just moved her to AZ and want her to be able to live on her own because that is what she wants. I am at a loss of what to do. I don't know how to get through to her that not only is it a safety concern to leave your doors open but you can also not afford the bill (we are waiting for the electric company to approve our request for bill assist). Any suggestions??
She cannot live on her own.
If she has had a pattern of hoarding, it’s gonna come back. If she cannot be cognitive to put up food, she probably is also not cognitive to take medications as needed or maintain proper hygiene. If she can’t understand cause & effect on leaving doors open, then I bet she can’t understand using stove or microwave. I’ll bet she could not do a fire drill. All this combined with increasing dementia is a train wreck waiting to happen.
You all are lucky to be in AZ as AZ Medicaid has both AL & NH & in-home Care paid by Medicaid. I’d suggest that you or whomever is her DPOA contact your local Area on Aging to see how to get her onto Medicaid and into either AL or a NH for 24/7 oversight. Unless you are willing to have her move into your home and she gets on AZ in home caregiver Medicaid program & you all do whatever care & oversight beyond the hours Medicaid provides for.
There are a couple of folks on this forum from AZ, hopefully they can post their experience with their AZ elder adventure.
He, too was living in completely hoarded out conditions and his sons simply swept in, had him declared incompetent and pretty much just had his trailer-home hauled to the trash.
They found he, too, had been living with the windows and doors open night and day and neighbors were keeping an eye on him. (Really?)
He had plenty of money to have lived in comfort, but as a addicted smoker and drinker, his option were few. His family was estranged and hadn't seen him in years.
Lived his last couple of years in a lovely NH where he could smoke (he had to walk quite a ways from the home to get a smoke break, so that cut back)..dying finally of the complications of liver failure, lung cancer and the burns that never really healed.
I wish you luck. I know a lot of people in AZ choose to 'deal with the heat' in the spring/summer rather than pay for A/C and then gloat it over we who have to turn on the furnace in the winter.
Any idea why she does this habitually? Is she not used to how AC works, and thinks that if there isn't a good healthy draught she'll never get cool?
Can someone go with her on next doc visit to have her assessed for cognitive decline? She may also have an untreated UTI which can be treated with antibiotics and her dementia-like symptoms may clear up. Big life changes (like moving) can be disorienting to the elderly, but not sure your LO is going to recover. Start with a medical assessment if at all possible. Results may drive future decisions on her behalf.
Scrubtech, where did you move your grandmother *from*, and how long ago exactly?
I told her daughter about it. She lived with her daughter. Her daughter worked full time and couldn’t be around for her mom.
She said she has told her mom not to open the door to strangers. Kept happening where she did not lock the door and opened it up to strangers.
My neighbor’s son moved in with them. He lost his job and needed temporary housing. I told him about his grandma and he assured me that grandma would not open the door while he was home. I was relieved that he was there with her.
Tell someone. She may need help. She may have cognitive issues. You are sweet to be concerned.
Other ideas: would a reminder from Alexa work? Can you use a security system or technology to lock the doors and have an app that would allow you to check to make sure it’s still locked? I’m not that technical, but someone else on the forum had written about doing this and that made caring for her LO who lived a distance away so much easier. What about installing a spring on the door so that it automatically shuts?
If she is incompetent, then you can gain guardianship and make some safety choices for Grandma. Sounds like Grandma needs some level of supervision and support, either in the home or in a nice AL.
If she is still competent, then your choices are more limited. Perhaps it would be easier to talk Grandma into someone coming into the house for a few hours night and morning to set the house to rights so at least she is living in a clean and healthy setting.