In 2009, not knowing, I suddenly started caring for an elderly couple and that turned into fulltime and then 24/7 care. 2011 she died. I was there and she passed away at home as we planned and she wanted that. He then needed my care. At this time he paid me $1800 a month, 6 months before she died and then on to care for him. A year later, he said he left the home to my husband and I. I was suprised and not expecting that. By this time he needed my fulltime care and I was there more than I was home. I honestly thought he wasn't going to make it so i stayed there over night, many nights. It got to the point where I was never home. Missed proms and teen age years for all 4 children. In 2015 we weren't financially doing well and I was at this man's ( whom I call my dad now in short) I asked him if it were okay that we moved there and sold our place to our son. He said that was okay. Neither of us thought this out long term. We didnt think it out all all actually. It was like destined to be. From then on he didn't pay me anymore, getting the house was my payment. He said he didn't think he would live but another 5 years and it would be mine. I didn't find out he was thinking this until a few years ago. Lol when we moved in he perked up and well, he is still thriving at 90 years old and it 2022! Lol. Sometimes I think he will out live us. He is doing great and that's great. We all want to live. I haven't watched TV in a living room since 2012, husband hasn't watched TV in a living room since 2015. My husband eats in his room. He must really love me! Lol We have lived in a 10x10 room since then. 4 children married off and 9 grandchildren later, here we are. It's not easy but I feel blessed in this crazy mess but anyways. I dont get paid! I'm going crazy. I need to work. I do work. I just don't get paid! How can I get paid to care for him? That 5 years is up but I don't want to say anything to him. I hear that people can be paid by insurance to care for their parents but he isn't legally my parent. Can anyone give me advice? I can't buy anything. Im in a pickle!
You have put your life aside for people you do not know! Giving up time with your family for people you did not know! For a house you have no guarantee of getting. Did the man set it up that he lives in it till he dies, and then it gets turned over to you?
This man is too old for Long-term care insurance. The premiums would be more than he could afford and I don't think they become effective until you have paid premiums for some time. He would have to fit Medicaid criteria for the man to get help with aides.
You are in a pickle and I don't know how to tell you to get out of it. I may demand something in writing concerning the house. If he won't produce it, he would need to pay me. No pay no care. You start looking for another place to live.
The vast majority of grown children who care for their parents do not get paid. I am not familiar with insurance paying for caregiving. Medicare doesn't pay.
Now, there is Medcaid, but "Dad" would need to qualify. Each State is different with their caregiving programs. Usually the pay is minimum wage for a short number of hours. Then, once "Dad" passes, the State will place a lien on the house.
You honestly believed that "Dad" would be giving you and your husband his house once he passes, and I can understand that. Is that mentioned in his Will? Does he even have a Will? If there is no Will, then Probate Court will assign the house to a next of kin and if there are no next of kin, then the State take the house.
If you are mentioned in the Will to get the house, check to be sure the house is free of any liens, or that it isn't under a Reverse Mortgage, and that "Dad" is up-to-date paying his real estate taxes.
You put this couple before your family….. for what? A house that may not even be yours? Did you sign paperwork for any of this? I’m mind blown