I am caring for both parents in their home. They both are cognitively challenged. I am an only child and have no help. I have asked and practically begged their church, friends, neighbors, etc, to just come to visit with minimal results. I have been doing this for two years since my Mom had a stroke. We curreently pay privately for in home care, but funds are low, and we are going to have to cash in life insurance. I have quit my job and relocated to do this, as my dad refuses to leave his home. After all is said and done, I do not eveen know what I am going to do or know how I am going to support myself. I would love to chat and am open to suggestions. Thank you!
~Sharon
You are going to have to paint a very scary bleak picture for them to make them understand the gravity of the situation. Sorry.
Baby, we understand where you're coming from. Many of us have been there, done that. ... Venting relieves stress, please don't do without it. In this forum, we all do it; and it helps.
But you also need to get paid for all the sacrifices you're making and the ones yet to come. Since you quit your job, you can't collect unemployment. If you haven't done it already, apply for food stamps and everything else you can get your hands on. It might not be enough "financial security," but it's a start.
On the AgingCare's homepage there's a "Money & Legal" tab. Click on it and follow the links. Who knows? Perhaps all the help you need is right in front of you. Just let your fingers do the walking.
I'd like to visit Maine this Summer. Can I drop by and say hello so we can vent and scream together? ... It'd be "therapeutic."
Here's a big hug from The Bronx (NYC), and remember: Giving up and giving in are not an option.
-- ED
P.S. Just make you smile, my sister said "of course she won she's the only one that can read the kareoke words, hear well, dance, and sing all at once."
We are here for you. This sight is a sanity saver for us, we get to vent and not be judged, we get to get gross and everyone understands. And we laugh. Which is so much cheaper than therapy which none of us can afford anyway... You have arrived here, and not by accident.. you will make some great friends... hugs to you and hope we hear from you..
Just because your father wants to stay in his home does not mean that it is the best option. You may have to consider selling the home to provide income for their care. You have enough to do without the upkeep of a home.
They really need to be in a place where they can get the care they need and you need to get back to work to provide for yourself.
Your parents do NOT have the right to jeopardize your future. Caring for your parent sometimes means making tough decisions then following through on them.
Is there anyone in your orbit whom your Dad respects who can intervene for you? someone who could explain the dire financial straits and help you do what needs to be done?
I am afraid if things continue this way you will be left both destitute and suffer health problems yourself.
Are either of your parents veterans? Their are funds available for in-home care and a family member can be paid.
In our town there are RNs who visit at home and provide some care...they can do quite a bit. Medicare covers it.
Also, I hire privately for in-home care. It saves, but you have to be careful who you hire.
I hope this gives you a start. Come by often.