3 years ago after the loss of my father and siblings accepted the plea from my ailing elderly mother, and moved myself and my disabled 25 yr old son back home to stay and care for mom and the farm. It wasn't my duty as I was the only one left, but rather, my privilege. Mom is 80 now with ALOT of health problems including congestive heart and only 23% heart function left. My son is a quadriplegic disabled with Cerebral Palsy and also numerous health problems. I have Always cared for them alone. my mom is starting to express signs of confusion and outbursts calling me the devil. I feel like I am sometimes going to stroke out myself. I've reached out to pathways but there few is more than I can give for support. Please help as I desperately seek any advice
One way to lessen the stress level is to do some deep breathing - several times a day. You can google on YouTube the correct way of doing it. I would tell you how to do it but I think I'm doing it wrong. Every time I reach my 4th breathing, I'm woozy. Best to google it.
Do you have legal authority to take care of the house, farm, bills, etc? Is she still competent to sign a Durable Power of Attorney, Healthcare POA, and Advanced Directive, so you can act on her behalf? If so, I would get that immediately. Contact an Estate Attorney about getting them prepared and signed ASAP.
If she's not competent or willing to sign the documents, you may run into problems handling matters on her behalf. It may require you to file with the courts. If that's the case, I would still contact the attorney about how to proceed to see if there is enough to prove your mom needs a guardian at this time.
In addition to getting the legal authority to act, it sounds like you certainly need some help. Dealing with a person who is showing those kind of symptoms is concerning. I would follow the advice above about getting her a medical exam to see what is causing it. It could be an infection, medications, or dementia, etc. If it can't be cleared up, then you need to get some help. Perhaps she qualifies for some in home services. If it is dementia, she may be treated with medication to help with her anxiety. Often that helps the person's mood and they can get relief from anxiety and agitation. However, if her care cannot be managed in the home, you may have to seek out other options like Memory Care, if that is what the problem turns out to be.
There is nothing wrong asking for help. If the family is not able to do it, then there are other resources in the community.
Mom will have surgery this Friday to remove Melanoma from her leg. Blood was drawn today during her pre up visit and a sample was taken to rule out infection and uti. I wish there was a way to have group support as it does help to know someone is listening. Thank you all so very much
As a dialed person, is your son not eligible for MEDICAID? Call your local Medicaid office and explain his disability.