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My 70-year -old mother-in -law is being take care of by my SIL. At this point she has had my MIL transfer the deed to her house over to her, moved her out of the house, and shut off her cell phone. The day after my husband spoke with her last, we were then told that the only way for us to speak with my MIL is to call my SIL, who argues and fights with everyone who calls. We have called APS, but since my MIL is so controlled by my SIL, she is afraid to disagree with her, so she stated that the charges to her credit card were approved. Now, whenever we speak to her, she speaks very differently, and it seems that someone is there hovering and making sure that she does not say anything 'wrong. ‘My other SIL was told that now my MIL needs constant medical supervision as she has now had 9 heart attacks and is on constant medications. Is there a way for this to be proven to us? All we want is to make sure that the information we are getting is correct, and my MIL is properly being taken care of, as this SIL was the same "provider" for my BIL who recently passed from cancer. From what she told us was that he died from prostate cancer. My thoughts on this is that if she had been properly been taking care of him, at his yearly physicals, this could have been caught in time, not caught after 7 falls, and being diagnosed in the ER with bilateral patella fractures, cervical fractures, and stage 4 cancer. We buried him 2 weeks later.
All we want is to make sure that she is properly being cared for, and not being manipulated.

Does your SIL have power of attorney? No information in your profile so has your FIL already passed away or not in the picture?
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Reply to YaYa79
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burbina, welcome to the forum. Please take a few minutes to fill out your Profile page, this will help us better understand the situation. Question: how long has sister-in-law been caring for Mom-in-law? Being a caregiver is physically and emotionally exhausting. It is noted that 40% of family caregivers pass leaving behind the love one they were caring. So, it's no easy task. Curious, how often did you and your husband help with his mother's care? Actual hands-on care?


One thing that jumped out at me is that Sister-in-Law had her mother transfer title of house over to her. Oops, big mistake as when it comes time to sell the house, Sister-in-law is going to have heavy income taxes to pay. Makes more sense inheriting the house instead. An Elder Law Attorney or CPA can explain further on the tax issues.


So sorry about your and your husband's brother-in-law. My gosh he must have been quite young. There are specific noticeable symptoms when it comes to prostate cancer, and only your brother-in-law would be aware. Yearly physicals wouldn't find it unless brother-in-law had mentioned to his doctor, neither would MRI unless the MRI was focused on the prostate. I wouldn't blame sister-in-law.


Time to make amends, and even offer to help in the care of mother-in-law, if you and your husband hasn't already been doing that. Then and only then would you find out how your husband's mother is doing.
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Reply to freqflyer
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You have already followed the avenues open to you. APS has visited. They apparently found nothing that concerned them. I am afraid in the present circumstances I cannot imagine what can be done.
You might consider speaking with an elder law attorney for options if you suspect fraud of abuse.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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