Our sibling swooped in after our Dad died, alienated Mom from the rest of us, got a D-POA, took out life insurance policies on our Mother with herself as the sole beneficiary, had Mom sign a DNR order, set up pre planned funeral services to have Mom cremated although she has a burial plot next to our Dad, then emptied her accounts. She told us as well as my Mom that she was going to rehab for 90 days. 24 days in she worked with Drs, Social Workers and put Mom in a nursing home against her will. Our mother is fiercely independent and did not want to live with any of her children. Her POA knew this, convinced Mom that she would take care of her, be there for her so she could live independently. We quickly realized the POA's motive was Mom has money, I can tell her what she wants to hear. The POA took $40k that we know of. One of Mom's financial institutions recorded Mom's reaction when she realized the POA took over $14k in one week through ATM transactions and closed the account. APS was called, investigated and my Mom covered for the POA. Case closed. My Mom repeatedly refused to revoke the POA saying the rest of us were simply jealous of her. The POA became a MEDICAID paid caretaker for our Mom while still accessing her accounts with my Mom's blessing. We don't know if Mom became scared of the POA but she refused to remove her and went along with her lies that none of other children where willing to take Mom in and care for her. Now Mom is in a nursing home, on the verge of a mental breakdown because all her possessions were sold or thrown away, she has access to nothing, she has no money and she does not want to be there. Our mother is competent and free of dementia. Her physical health now is such that she cannot do much for herself. We've contacted lawyer after lawyer each recommending guardianship. Unfortunately the cost is beyond what we can afford. Please help us help her get some of her life back...thank you.
She wasn't put in a NH "against her will" either. You can't do that to a competent person. You also can't really just move into a NH, it requires a medical decision. What are her medical problems?
It sounds like you've done everything you can, Mom will just have to live with the consequences of her poor decisions.
Regarding nursing homes, one legally can't force someone who is competent into a nursing home.
Regarding sister, maybe talk to an elder care attorney to help straighten out financials.
All the best
What's the actual issue? What's standing in everybody's way?
So do you think there has been Medicaid fraud? And that somehow your mother was forced into rehab and then the NH against her will?
If she is competent, why is she still there if she wants to sign herself out?
And where would she go if she weren't in the NH?
How old is your mother? The statement “Our mother is competent and free of dementia” is sadly, relatively meaningless unless it can be backed up by some sort of objective evaluation, done by a legally authorized professional, so it’s not too useful when attempting to find solutions which will result in HER receiving safe and loving care.
Same as “…on the verge of mental breakdown…”. Who said that? Was this statement based on the observation of one of the angry siblings?
“…she does not want to be there…” Most people who are placed in residential facilities “don’t want to be there”, and will often say so.
If her physical situation is such that “…she cannot do much for herself…”, she may have no realistic choice beyond her present placement.
If you’ve contacted lawyer after lawyer each recommending guardianship”, you’ve been given legal advice and that advice has been confirmed.
If “…the cost is beyond what (you) can afford”, then you have no recourse that doesn’t depend on your mother assuming responsibility for herself, signing herself out of her present setting, and making specific reasonable requests regarding her ongoing care.
You COULD try a mediator to reconcile all of the forces who disagree with your mother’s care. Are you able to agree that you all want what’s best for your mother, including he POA sister?
IF she is competent she can discharge herself from the Nursing home.
IF she is competent she can and should talk to the lawyer that drew up the papers and rescind the DPOA and appoint someone else. Then she should contact Police and file a report of theft. Also report the financial abuse of an elder to Adult Protective Services.
Its not easy getting into a NH. You have to need 24/7 care. If Mom is competent they can't keep her unless it would be considered an unsafe discharge.