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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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DH is in mid stage dementia and limited mobility. His incontinence is getting worse. He sometimes can tell he needs "to go" but most often not. Every piece of furniture has been "christened" and I am doing laundry daily. I am at a loss.
If you Google "continence care" you'll get results for suppliers of all kinds of helpful products - not only pads and pull-ups for him to wear, but washable or disposable protective covers for furniture, mattresses, etc. Most of the reputable suppliers also have useful advice pages, too, to help you choose what would best suit his needs.
Have you not been given any support at all with this by his healthcare team???
Is it just urinary incontinence or is he having bowel accidents too?
What sort of clothes does he prefer to wear?
Once in the bathroom, is he still able to manage if he's in time?
My husband when he was alive had horrible issues with incontinence, having to go every hour on the hour 24/7. His urologist prescribed many of the bladder control medications, but they never worked. His urologist also tried putting Botox in his bladder as that sometimes helps calm the bladder down, but that didn't work for my husband either. So it was at that point, because my husband was slowing down and very unsteady on his feet that his doctor recommended that he have a supra pubic(permanent)catheter put in, which we agreed to. That was a Godsend for sure, as now I only had to empty his catheter bag twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. You may want to talk to your husbands urologist about some kind of catheter, either permanent or not. But until then, make sure that you have several waterproof pads under him while he's in bed and also anywhere he sits during the day, and that you are also putting a pad/guard in whatever type diapers you use for him, to help soak up the pee. And if he is also incontinent with pooping, make sure that you have a bedside commode handy to wherever he is, so he doesn't have to travel far. It was only after my husband became completely bedridden that I then had to hire an aide to come every morning to put him on the bedside commode as I couldn't lift him myself, so he could poop. That worked out well for us both. I wish you the very best as I know how hard this is for you.
I admire you people for serving as caregivers of the elderly without any training or experience. Love isn't enough, you need the "know how". I understand that it becomes the only choice when the old person has no resources to be placed in an appropriate facility. Under those circumstances, just do the best you can and don't worry about your mistakes. I give you all the credit for your incredible work done some times, under the worst conditions. I'm not a caregiver. I'm an 89 year-old man who expects to never become a burden to my family. Luckily, I still take care of myself. My only hope is to leave this world as quickly as possible without making too much noise. I don't want my children to be in your shoes.
“You may want to talk to your husband’s urologist about some kind of catheter, either permanent or not.”
— i know someone who has a permanent catheter (also called suprapubic. it’s a tube that goes into the stomach, instead of private part of body) (permanent catheter means small operation: make a hole in stomach to insert tube).
the person i know: it worked out very well. now they just need to worry about incontinence kaka (adult diaper)
i want to warn:
the permanent tube/catheter must be changed every 2 months.
this procedure is risky. normally goes fine. but get a very competent urologist.
if a mistake is made, the person can get a big urine infection, even sepsis.
drink lots of water for some days, after every catheter change.
My husband only had to have his supra pubic catheter changed every 4 months per his urologist. And you definitely want someone who knows what they're doing to change it, as I discovered that not all nurses are trained in how to change it, or if they are they just don't get enough practice with them to be comfortable doing it.
Your husband and furniture might benefit from using a condom catheter. It is non-evasive and does not involve surgery or trained nursing staff to change. I don't know how far progressed he is in his dementia. You may have to dress him in different clothing to prevent him gaining access to the condom catheter because they are easily removed. As for the furniture. You can protect it by getting some of those waterproof quilted cloth bed pads. They're available online. I had a client who was totally incontinent both ways. we literally used dog training pads on the couch and chair cushions with folded sheet on top of them. Worked perfectly and protected the furniture.
The extra large ones 30x36 are good for bed liners; the smaller ones for chairs and such.
Get DH on a toileting schedule; take him to the bathroom every 2 hours like clockwork, even if he says he doesn't have to go. When dementia is at play, the signal to the brain can get damaged, making him unaware of the need to go, making the urgency feeling disappear.
If things get very bad and he's taking off the night time Depends, put him in an anti-strip suit for sleeping;
Learn all you can about dementia if you are planning to keep DH home with you for long term; read this article which is EXCELLENT; a free 33 pg download called "Understanding the Dementia Experience" by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Another good book is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowin.
And The 36 Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease and Other Dementias; it's written in a reference type format which is very easy for looking specific things up quickly when you're faced with a question you haven't a clue about.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Have you not been given any support at all with this by his healthcare team???
Is it just urinary incontinence or is he having bowel accidents too?
What sort of clothes does he prefer to wear?
Once in the bathroom, is he still able to manage if he's in time?
You may want to talk to your husbands urologist about some kind of catheter, either permanent or not.
But until then, make sure that you have several waterproof pads under him while he's in bed and also anywhere he sits during the day, and that you are also putting a pad/guard in whatever type diapers you use for him, to help soak up the pee.
And if he is also incontinent with pooping, make sure that you have a bedside commode handy to wherever he is, so he doesn't have to travel far. It was only after my husband became completely bedridden that I then had to hire an aide to come every morning to put him on the bedside commode as I couldn't lift him myself, so he could poop. That worked out well for us both.
I wish you the very best as I know how hard this is for you.
i agree with funkygrandma. this is an option:
“You may want to talk to your husband’s urologist about some kind of catheter, either permanent or not.”
—
i know someone who has a permanent catheter (also called suprapubic. it’s a tube that goes into the stomach, instead of private part of body) (permanent catheter means small operation: make a hole in stomach to insert tube).
the person i know:
it worked out very well.
now they just need to worry about incontinence kaka (adult diaper)
i want to warn:
the permanent tube/catheter must be changed every 2 months.
this procedure is risky. normally goes fine. but get a very competent urologist.
if a mistake is made, the person can get a big urine infection, even sepsis.
drink lots of water for some days, after every catheter change.
And you definitely want someone who knows what they're doing to change it, as I discovered that not all nurses are trained in how to change it, or if they are they just don't get enough practice with them to be comfortable doing it.
It is non-evasive and does not involve surgery or trained nursing staff to change. I don't know how far progressed he is in his dementia. You may have to dress him in different clothing to prevent him gaining access to the condom catheter because they are easily removed.
As for the furniture. You can protect it by getting some of those waterproof quilted cloth bed pads. They're available online. I had a client who was totally incontinent both ways. we literally used dog training pads on the couch and chair cushions with folded sheet on top of them. Worked perfectly and protected the furniture.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=men%27s+incontinence+pads&crid=PKNTZSXQ5CDY&sprefix=men%27s+incon%2Caps%2C192&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_2_11
Use Medline Extrasorbs chuck pads on all of the furniture DH sits on to prevent leakage. These pads absorb A LOT of liquid.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=extrasorbs&crid=3VEIKKO08A2LH&sprefix=extrasorbs%2Caps%2C173&ref=nb_sb_noss
The extra large ones 30x36 are good for bed liners; the smaller ones for chairs and such.
Get DH on a toileting schedule; take him to the bathroom every 2 hours like clockwork, even if he says he doesn't have to go. When dementia is at play, the signal to the brain can get damaged, making him unaware of the need to go, making the urgency feeling disappear.
If things get very bad and he's taking off the night time Depends, put him in an anti-strip suit for sleeping;
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alzheimers+anti+strip+suit+mens&crid=2TWU8KC7K5DRB&sprefix=alzheimers+anti+strip+suit+mens%2Caps%2C1391&ref=nb_sb_noss
Learn all you can about dementia if you are planning to keep DH home with you for long term; read this article which is EXCELLENT; a free 33 pg download called "Understanding the Dementia Experience" by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Another good book is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowin.
And The 36 Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease and Other Dementias; it's written in a reference type format which is very easy for looking specific things up quickly when you're faced with a question you haven't a clue about.
https://www.amazon.com/36-Hour-Day-Alzheimer-Disease-Dementias/dp/1421441713/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2YHAE5YKXJQSS&keywords=the+36+hour+day+paperback+latest+edition&qid=1646696534&sprefix=thge+36+hour+day%2Caps%2C178&sr=8-4
Alz.org is the Alzheimer's website which has a ton of info & an 800 number to call to speak to a real live human being about concerns & questions.
Learn all you can about AD/dementia b/c knowledge is power!
Wishing you the best of luck with all you have on your plate.