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She doesn't want to get dressed, take a bath, put her dirty dishes in the dish washer. The rest of the day she sits in her chair with or without the tv on full blast and sleep. I'm beyond frustrated because she is so sweet natured and kind. Help me. I am not a trained caregiver, just the daughter I law .

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Your profile says that she has dementia. I would discuss her symptoms with her doctor. You might see if she is also suffering from depression. Often dementia patients also have depression or anxiety. Sometimes medication can help with that. You might inquire if the doctor will prescribe a bath aid.

I would be grateful that she is sweet natured and kind, as that is often not the case with people who have dementia. They can be challenging and resistant to care. As the person's dementia progresses, they are not able to process things like chores, house keeping, hygiene, etc. They can't be expected to handle those things. Their brains lose the ability to be able to focus on it and the memory of how to do it. They may even believe that they have already done it, due to their memory loss.

I'd read on this site about ways to convince the person to allow the assistance of a bath aid or to allow a family member to assist them. It can be challenging as many people with dementia no longer want to bathe or shower.

I might discuss future care of her with your husband as caregiving for someone with this condition is a huge job.
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Go to youtube and watch Teepa Snow videos about dementia. One of the things that happen with dementia/Alzheimers is the loss of initiative. My mom has dementia, but not Alzheimers. I see this with her. She's also sweet and kind, but most days stays in her pajamas. She does her dishes, but I do everything else for her (laundry, garbage, making food, fixing medications). She says she'll do things and doesn't do them. She has no short-term memory, so can't remember to do things outside of her normal routine. I go over weekly to shower her, otherwise, it wouldn't happen. So you need to get her some help to do the things that need to be done. Her brain just isn't capable of planning and organizing the daily tasks of living like it once was.
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How long has MIL been living in your home? What kind of outside support do you have? For example, is someone coming in regularly so you can go out? How about so that you and your husband can have date nights?

A bath aide might be a really good idea. Sometimes a matter-of-fact professional gets better cooperation than a family member.

Wireless headphones for the television saved my sanity!

It is good to encourage persons with dementia to do as much for themselves as they can ... but that works best with things they want! Rather than wait on her, encourage her to get her own snack. But if she hates getting dressed, that is something you probably need to help her with.

Be grateful for her sweet nature. And if she can still follow television programs, rejoice! Cherish what you can while you can!
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You poor thing! This is a lot to get used to! A person with dementia is not like other people. She looks the same, but that brain just isn't working.

She may have forgotten how to do ordinary things. Even putting dishes in the dishwasher is a challenge for my husband. He avoids anything he's unsure about, because he doesn't want to look incompetent. He has started sitting in whatever room I am in, because he's bored and afraid when he doesn't see me.

How old is your MIL? If she's 60, then maybe you should try to move her more. If she's 88, then that old rocking chair has got her, and she's just going to keep slowing down. Toi feel good about caring for her, maybe your goal is to make her smile, and that is success. You probably do need some help. Ask your local senior center or Area Agency on Aging.
Best wishes to you.
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Jinx -- I like that goal. Get a smile from her!
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Is she mobile ? Can you get her to spend some time outdoors with you if it's not too hot - Fresh air and daylight and a little exercise might improve things and give her some energy but most late stage dementia patients do sleep a lot

And yes you're very lucky that she is sweet - my mom's mood can change in an instant and glimpses of her old jovial self are rarer and rarer these days.
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