Dad lives with us and spends alot of time on his computer, especially social media. He has become obsessed with the Virus and listens to alot of hype. He keeps track of statistics, and writes down how many more people have died than the day before. Sometimes he can't sleep because he is worried about the nurses. (Both his wives were nurses.) My husband and I both work full time and cannot be there to entertain him. I have had chats with him that it might be a good idea for him to take a walk, sit outside on the patio, do a jigsaw puzzle, word search, record his memories on a video camera, etc. He swears he doesn't obsess, but he does. Our relationship has suffered tremendously since he moved in with us. I am his target now. I know nothing and am always wrong. I could go on for hours, but I'll narrow it down to: What is everyone doing to keep their loved ones occupied right now? Should I cut off his internet access?
This coronavirus pandemic will end eventually, hopefully soon, like in a month or so, I hope. For now, it's the source of his entertainment, don't take it away from him. If he's worried, then he's worried.
This pandemic is all over the news, it's everywhere, hard to avoid. It's sensationalized by the news media, like a bad car accident, so people tune in. Even if you try to persuade and distract him to do something else, he will probably return to looking at the bad car accident.
As for your relationship with him deteriorating, that is a different problem, a common problem that a lot of people on this forum discovered after moving their parents in to live with them. I was one of those people. Fortunately for me, I was able to move my mother out before she drove me insane.
What I try to do when it is really upsetting, is to look at the large number of people it is not infecting and the large number that survive. The percentage of deaths compared to those infected, etc. All that makes it more calming.
Maybe, when you get home you could sit down with him and go over those figures with him. Look at the cities the numbers are coming down in, etc.
Also, watch the amount of caffine and sugar he is on in his food and drink, to help calm him. Remind him of the polio days and how frightening that was, including the quarantines we had then, and we made it through.
Have him help you, make a batch of cookies, set the table, make the bed, unload the dryer, fold the wash. All things that will take up some of the worry time and he will feel so needed. Also try playing Big Band music from the 40s on your Alexa, if you have one. That music has done wonders in our house. It's happy music and calming for our age.
But charting is a part of him and that's ok, just guide him to the right charts. Blessings to you.
He is older then you, has experienced so much more, so I am sure he does or feels he does know more then you. That's ok. Give him credit for that and don't argue with him. Ask him more about it. It's how you react. It really works.
He's living through a personal, national, and international catastrophe, and he feels completely sidelined. Subconsciously he may feel that the only thing he can "do" is gather information. Oh, and the other things he can do are to worry and report. So that what he is doing.
I like the idea of asking him for even _more_ detailed information. He could research stats about particular cities (including percentages of the populace, not just numbers of deaths). I would also ask him about recoveries, mild cases, asymptomatic cases, new research on treatments....If you can't beat him, it might be just as well to let him be your resident expert.
Down the line, if he continues to disrespect you in your own home, you may have other courses of action to ponder, but right now weathering the crisis of the hour is maybe about all you can do. If you are able to enlist any help from your husband by having him help with beguiling the hours cheerfully chatting about death and destruction with Dad, that could ease your mental exhaustion. And, you might mention to your husband that if Dad is particularly dismissive of you at some point, you would not be offended if your husband reminds Dad that "she may be your daughter, but she is _my_ wife, and _nobody_ treats my wife that way."
These are just thoughts.
He's worried about the nurses, but, obliquely, he is probably worried about you and your husband too, because you go to work "out there, where the virus is." I would not take his computer away. Even if it seems obsessive, right now it is how he is processing,
Maybe look at things in a different way, and just try and not let him or his interests bother you.
Good luck
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