HI, new to the forum but I have read quite a few of the posts and feel this could be a useful tool for me and mom. My dad passed away 2 1/2 yrs ago and I am the caregiver for my 82 year old mother with the onset of dementia. She lives alone but I live down the street and see and talk to her everyday. I also have cameras in and out of the house to help me keep track of her, For the most part she does well. She is very good about her hygiene & thankfully can handle bathroom needs alone. She is having a little problem with her meds, even though I have electronic boxes with timers and alarms. She forgets to or is to lazy to fix something to eat, even though I always bring her something to reheat. I just think she spends too much time alone and I feel so guilty about it. I have to keep up the house, bills, trash, meds, pretty much everything. She has on occasion been talked into new insurance via telemarketing that I have had to "fix" the problem. I have a husband that has mobility issues and requires me to do a lot for him also. I am just pretty much burned out, I have no alone time or have time for anything for fun. Any advice....
It would relieve you of feeling as responsible for every minute of her day if she was in assisted living .Do you have POA to help her find a place and to sell her current home ?
If she doesn't wish to do that and you are all right with maintaining current level of care with perhaps some help brought in, then while there may be risk, at this point we are all going to die. Perhaps it IS better to be able to do it in our own homes.
Only you can gage the level of safety and what you have to give. At some point this isn't sustainable for your own health if care cannot be hired on. I wish you the best of luck but this has to be your decision to make.
Also the Adult Day Programs also usually provide a snack and a lunch some also provide a breakfast. Typically a van sill pick up the participants in the morning and bring them home between 3 and 5 (depending on where on the route they are)
If there are no Day Programs if there is a Senior Center that has activities that might also be a way to get her involved. (If there is a chance that she might wander that would not be an option)
By the way to answer the question you posed...
It is not a matter of when YOU think it is time for mom to move to AL...it matters more how SHE feels about moving to AL. If she does not want to move you can not "force" her to move.
I will say that I am of the belief that a person with dementia should not be in AL. There is a risk that they can wander off property.
And you never know when a person that "Never wanders" or "Oh, they would never do that" will wander or do what they would never do.
You can check with the Senior Center in the area and see if she m ight qualify for any programs that might provide a caregiver for a few hours each week.
Going into a facility" is not the horrible scenario some folks like to portray it to be, quite the opposite actually. My folks lived in a hotel like AL they loved. They felt fortunate to have the funds TO live in such a place, in reality.
Get busy looking for ALs that also have Memory Care available for when mom needs it.
Good luck and stay on the forum. Keep us updated.
Finally had a slight stroke at age 93, was afraid to stay alone at night, we swooped her up moved her to FL near us, placed in a facility.
She loves it and said "I wish I had done this sooner, new friends, activities, dining and I do not have to clean"! Loves being with people more her age! She teaches sit down aerobics three times a week!
Go figure, she is now almost 99!
Does your state have programs that will assist her without going into a facility?