My nephew has never come to see his dad in the hospital even though he lived nearby. Instead he berated the hospital staff, made unreasonable demands of staff and doctors, ‘fired doctors’ and yelled at staff over the phone. I’m afraid that he will do this same thing to the SNF staff and thus they will want to get rid of my brother or the way they treat him will diminish. I’ve seen caregivers take it out on patients when they’ve had to deal with toxic relatives. My nephew needs to be stopped. He has no intention of coming to see his dad but rather just to control others. How can he be stopped? Thank you ahead of time.
What you can do is go in and speak with the DON and explain that the son is a problem and you need their guidance to protect the staff and dad from the fallout of his vile interference. Say it once and then let it go, unless they bring it up.
I promise you that giving them a heads up will be appreciated, nothing like getting blindsided by a wanker attacking you as you care for what should be their loved one.
Do your best to show the staff appreciation for their care, by words and actions. Thank you cards, letters to admin for staff that does a great job and goodies for all the staff goes a long ways to counteracting a bad son.
They really do pay more attention to the family member that is present and they know how to "hear" a calling controller and let it go once they hang up.
You cannot get POA from an incompetent adult.
Only a competent adult can ask you to take POA and act in his behalf when he is no longer competent to do so.
Basically you have no rights here, and as RR says, it is likely the next of kin who will be asked to make the needed decisions.
The SNF will take charge of any disruptive visitors and will speak with next of kin, POA, or direct family members. Certainly you can give an aside that this was a problem at another facility as well. But you cannot forbid family from seeing your brother. You have no power to do so.
Your private message to me makes me very concerned re abuse. Does your brother live with this son, or alone? You say that he isn't competent, but it isn't clear to me where he is living or with whom. What you describe is assault; was a police report ever made by your brother or anyone else? Does your brother have funds at risk from this abusive son?
I think in light of your additions that your Brother may need protection; I would open an APS case with all of the information you have and any proof and I would ask that your name be kept in strictest confidence. Rely on the SNF to take care of itself, though if you see a Social Worker you may forwarn her and ask her to keep this in strictest confidence. Discuss with her any other options you may have other than APS.
Are you POA for the brother, or has he a wife or other children taking on this obligation?
If you have POA you can limit visitors to an "incompetent" person, your brother. If your brother is competent you have ZERO rights either as POA or as sister, to limit who visits him.
I would quite honestly, if you ARE POA (and ONLY then) ask to speak to admin at the new SNF. Explain the problems that you have noted in the past facilities. Tell them you must be notified at once if there are problems and you can then see an attorney about stay away order versus accompanied visits only.
Again, this all depends upon your own powers, and what they are, and your brother's competency and wishes as regard his son, and the facilities powers (which do include forbidding disruptive visitors.
I really wonder if with HIPPA the son has any say in his fathers care. Thats the whole purpose of a POA even a wife should have one. If the son is volatile, that shows some Mental problem so should not be in charge of fathers care.