Summary: On the webcam we heard my MIL discuss family business with two convicted felons that we forbid her to continue her association with. She told us that a restraining order would not be necessary. Should we now do it anyway or is there another solution?
Details:
My MIL is 87 and lives in a property in Florida owned by my husband and I. We had an agreement that we would live in the property when we retired. She has lived in the property for 20 years. My husband and I lived in Texas and he retired two years ago. Over the years she has hired people and aligned herself with “friends” that she considers her “support system.” She has made questionable choices. We were unable to live in the house with her when we retired because of her Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We bought another house in the same town for my husband and I to live in. In the two years we have been here: we evicted the drug-using grandaughter, fired her “friend” that was maintaining the lawn, and forbid her “friends” that are convicted felons from coming to the house. All of which she agreed to. We wanted to have a restraining order but she said that it wasn’t necessary. She recently took a trip to Ohio to visit family and we were able to catch up on maintenance that she prevented us doing because she claimed it had been done. We told her that while she was gone we were going to put an extra webcam in the house so we can watch it from our house. She returned from her trip and we hadn’t removed the webcam yet. The day after she returned, we saw the two convicted felon “friends” drive up and get invited in. They were there a little over an hour and left with a bag of food. The webcam was inside the house so we were able to hear some of the conversation. We heard her discussing family business with them. Should we go ahead and begin the restraining order process or is there another solution?
InTheMiddle77, are these friends actually taking advantage of her that you know of (besides the granddaughter you had to evict), or are you just afraid they will?
If you can't trust her, perhaps you need to precipitate a crisis. At the moment by providing her with a house, you are facilitating this. If it happens again and you ask her to leave the house, what will be her options? Perhaps she will move into a high-end assisted living facility, which might solve the problem by providing more supervision. If you think that she is also into drugs (and it may be a possibility) perhaps involving the law is another way to go. It sounds as though MIL is a very difficult woman, and you are feeling that you have been taken for a sucker.
Best wishes in a very awkward situation.
It goes without saying that you leave NONE of your personal information or records in that house, not even a utility bill. You do not discuss personal business with her because obviously what goes in her ear comes out her mouth.
A restraining order will allow you to call the police if you spot these people in your home and have them arrested but, there is no age limitation on going to jail. If she’s caught with these people in the home and they’re bringing drugs in, she could be arrested as well as them for harboring a felon. If any of them has active warrants out on them, she could be arrested for aiding and abetting. Does she understand that?