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He was transferred there and they have forgot to give meds, left him in waste. They do not responded to his call button and leave him in bed. I asked for two days that they provide a bedside camode but as of today there still was not one so I brought his from home yet still found him in diarrhea-covered bedding. I changed him, cleaned him up and they said I should have left him in bed to be changed. I said they have got to be kidding. I have cared for him for many yrs myself. This was to be for rehabilitation to gain his strength. I don't know how to deal with this. Sugestions please.

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Bringing him home is your choice. We usually recommend against it because the responsibilities and effort involved in taking care of LO with severe dementia is far beyond what one person can handle. I would encourage you to read through may of the stories here and think long and hard about what your life will be like if you did bring him home before you make the decision. Best Wishes.
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Redbone Aug 22, 2024
I often feel guilty because I couldn't bring my mom home. She needed 24-hour care that I could not provide for her. Tried for ten months, and it aged me 25 years. Looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. I was extremely exhausted. I know there was nothing I could do, but still feel guilty about it none the less.
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Report neglect to the Ombudsman and move to a better facility.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Witz,I would also normally advise not to bring him home, but you sound like you do understand what you are getting into. So if you do I would advise you to make sure you have a plan for help for you and ways for you to get breaks

But I am curious at the reason for rehab? How much rehab can a person in late stage LBD able to get and retain, and the short term time period it would help, has me a bit confused that you are really accepting your dad's diagnosis.

Also I want to reiterate how difficult it is to get your dad back in if you bring him home and can't take it anymore, it's very difficult to do .

Just a few things to think about before you make this leap.
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Anxietynacy Aug 16, 2024
Yes also report this neglect and move him
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When I took a LO home from rehab the first time, they taught me how to transfer from wheelchair to car and back again, how to help with exercises for relearning to walk, how to bathe, get LO in and out of shower, how to give shots, how to dress LO and manage the meds, take blood pressure, all the things to do for an invalid who would never totally recover.

The social worker asked what my life was like. I told her about my job, going out with friends, dance classes three times a week, yoga class, swimming. She said, “Forget all that. You’re a caregiver now.” She was right. My previous life was over.

You should find another facility for your LO so you can continue to be you.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Unless you have an aid in the room with your father and one on one care you are not going to find that his incontinence is addressed at once. I cannot know the place, their staffing, or what you can expect, nor your Dad's abilities to call them in time to be toileted, but I think what you are seeing is not unusual. I also don't know how well your dad, at the stage of Lewy's can cooperate to increase strength; if there isn't a lot of progression, and you cannot accept that care given institutionally is and will be VERY imperfect, you may consider a return to home with in-home PT if the MD will order it. I am so sorry. There just isn't always a good answer, there just isn't always good care, good staffing. I also don't know where you are in this tough journey, and how long you can be the 24/7 caretaker to your Dad. I wish there was some comfort, some advice that could help you. Short of discussing with administration where your father currently is receiving care I just have nothing to offer. I surely do wish you luck, and again am so sorry.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Can you call in hospice?
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Reply to RetiredBrain
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I'm sorry, but I really don't think your dad should be in rehab. He should be in a memory care facility.
I would move him into a higher care facility as soon as possible.
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Reply to MiaMoor
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My admittedly limited experience with rehab (Mom had two stints in rehab after falls) indicates that it's really not for people with advanced dementia. Not only can they not really apply themselves to the therapies rehab typically offers, but the care outside of the prescribed therapy sessions isn't really hands on. The assumption seems to be that the patient is mentally competent to take care of most of their personal needs. They didn't get my mom's prescriptions for a few days (she has T2 diabetes) and she had to get on them to get that accomplished. When I was there visiting they stayed out of her room, assuming that she wanted privacy with her visitor (in other words, they did not attempt to care for her other than take her to scheduled therapy appointments). It does not surprise me at all that an incontinent person would wait to be changed. So I wonder about the prescription of rehab for this person. I wonder what benefit was anticipated.
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Igloocar Sep 5, 2024
I am in complete agreement. I have been in intensive in-patient physical rehab twice. I had no cognitive issues, and if I had had them, I probably could not have managed. The rehab staff are there to deal with the prescribed rehab, not to deal with personal care and hygiene. Some such care may have been included in the rehab prescription, but the staffing is not set up to handle it. If there is a strong reason for your father to be in rehab--which I, like others, question--then I think you will need to hire a caregiver at your or his (preferably) expense to be with him outside the hours he is in rehab activities. You will probably find that there are others there who are doing the same in terms of getting additional assistance.
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This is exactly what happened to my husband when he was in memory care which charged me $15,000 a month. After 2 months, I took him home and arranged caregivers everyday from 7am-7pm. I still care for him from 7pm-7am. He’s bedridden and wears external catheter each night, so he’s not leaving the house at night or wet the bed. Yes, it is expensive but much less than memory care. And he’s home safe and clean. There’s no perfect solution, but this one works for me for 7 yrs now.

Good luck.
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Reply to Worriedspouse
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I read a lot especially on LBD as my husband has PD and dementia like Lewy Body happens.
Many specialists believe at later stages rehab and other procedures do not contribute much especially to quality of life. Often the question is quality vs quantity.
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Reply to Evamar
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Evamar is right. Your father isn't going to benefit from rehab at this point.

Don't bring him home though. Find a nursing home who will accept him that's close by to you. This way you can be a good advocate for him to make sure he receives quality care and still provide for some of his care needs. Only you wouldn't have him living with you and you wouldn't be responsible for every care need round-the-clock, 24/7, 365 days a year. You've already done that and you know what it's like. It will be that again.

It's time for Long Term Care. See who has availability and look at a few places.
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AlvaDeer Sep 5, 2024
Yes. This.
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