My wife (80)has been ill and basically home bound for about 3 years with Lupus, Rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia an undiagnosed stomach nausea. She spends a lot of time in bed. We have consulted several physicians and a nutritionist and have not been able to find the problem for her stomach issues. She is generally weak and has balance issues. She is probably depressed as well. I would be. I can’t bring myself to tell her that short of a miracle she is not going to get better and this is her life going forward.
We were also informed that c Difficile, which is highly transmittable, could be affecting her digestive system. A stool sample will determine whether one has it.
That's why you should consider alternative treatments. Unless she doesn't WANT to get better or feel better; then that's a horse of another color. Not being 'good about taking medication' is an indicator that your wife doesn't want to feel better or do things to help herself. Why look for answers with doctors and the Mayo Clinic if the treatment/medication is not going to be an option?? I can imagine that you feel a huge level of frustration with the entire situation and I don't blame you. Nobody here is judging you........we're all in the same boat as far as having a hard time dealing with a loved one!
Here's another thought: my mother is 94 and has had undiagnosed stomach issues for a long time now, but particularly ugly the last year or so. Her nausea has been unbearable and nothing seems to help it. The doctor recently put her on Zoloft for depression; or rather, switched her from Wellbutrin to Zoloft which works on different receptors. I've realized over the past 6 weeks since she's made the switch that she's complained of NO NAUSEA or stomach issues AT ALL. Is it connected to the Zoloft? I have no idea. But I wouldn't doubt it at all!
Wishing you the best of luck with a very difficult situation, my friend. God bless you.
Sorry to ask but why do you think she needs to be told she is never getting better? Will that help her? Help you? I don't know the answer but just trying to understand the scenario here. It might depress her more so I'm thinking it might not be necessary.
Does she refuse to get out of bed?
Do you have any help taking care of her? If she is weak and mostly in bed, there must be a lot of work for you to do. Please get some outside help, even just someone to come in and clean the house once a week.
Can she be safely be left alone?
Good luck.
Is her depression being addressed medically, by a well-qualified psychiatrist?
Unless you are about to call in Hospice, I don't see any reason to stop trying to treat her symptoms.
Consider getting in home or out-patient physical therapy to address balance and weakness issues.
Please let us know how you are both doing!