How do we protect assets? We tried to get our 87 year old mother to meet with us and elder care attorney to set up trust to protect her assets. She flatly refuses and does not want to set a trust. We live with mom and there is no hostilities but she does not want to meet with elder care attorney. How do we now protect her assets for the future ahead.
Are they titled in her name only, or jointly with you and/or your siblings? If the latter, and they're correctly titled that way (with rights to the survivor(s) ), they'll pass directly after her death. But each of the assets and how to effect transfer on death should be discussed with an attorney. If your mother doesn't want to go, you and your sibs can go alone.
It also depends on their value as to whether or not they might be subject to probate, at least in my state. Your state of residence may have its own requirements and standards.
This raises another question as to whether or not she even has a will.
Perhaps you and your siblings could meet with the attorney, after preparing an itemized list of your mother's assets, get instructions and handle retitling if necessary. You could do that with any mutuals and/or IRAs with stock forms prepared by the investment company that manages them, but you would need a deed prepared by an attorney if title to the house needs to be transferred from your mother to you and your siblings.
I had no issue getting my parents to meet with an Elder Law Attorney, whew, they got their Wills, POA's, etc updated.... but Dad has been dragging his feet on the paperwork for the Trust.... I've given up as it has been almost a year ago when the homework was given to him. Guess I am lucky their Wills were updated :)
Mom was not able to understand any of the information. Her refusal was not about protecting things - she did want to protect her assets - but she was so afraid of being swindled and looking stupid that she would rather lose it all than lose face. She also had become extremely paranoid and trusted nobody to do it for her. That was the dementia coming through.
My suggestion is to stop insisting this is YOUR idea and be a little more creative. Say you have to go in for this review to keep her benefits going or to keep from having to pay a giant tax bill. A lot of seniors will cooperate if they think their government benefits are on the line or that it's NOT their children's' idea. Even if their children are professional wealth managers near their own retirement. We are all permanently 16 and stupid as a rock.